Miracle Rice is extremely easy to use. Just dump it into a wire colander, rinse well with cold water, let it drip-dry, and then — because Miracle Rice has no flavor whatsoever — toss it into any soup or sauce for added bulk without carbs or calories. Miracle Rice has the “mouth feel” of soft, cooked barley, and Amazon sells a six-pack of 8-oz. bags for $13.75.
In case you’re interested, you can buy Miracle products in other shapes, too, such as fake spaghetti, fake angel hair pasta and fake fetuccini. My personal favorite, though, is the fake rice.
But wait, there’s more! I also bought a 24-piece Diamond Décor collection … borders, dividers, frames, fancy-ass elements and sparkly whatnots, all for only $2.29, and fabulous Tinsel Glitter Hearts in 254 colors for $2.79. After I downloaded all the files (some of them were huge!) and organized the folders, I spent a couple of hours ogling my new treasures. They’re GORGEOUS. And, even better … all the background textures are SEAMLESS, which means you can “tile” multiple copies of the image in any direction to make a larger finished file.
As I write this post it’s a few minutes after 11 on Friday morning, and Sam is on his way to Costco. This time I asked him to buy me a container of their house-made jumbo shrimp salad, the kind with a mayo-based dressing, which is probably the best shrimp salad I’ve ever had. I also requested a package of Aidells Chicken Meatballs and a sack of teeny tacos. Stay tuned.*
HAD A VISIT FROM MY HOSPICE NURSE ON FRIDAY. Unfortunately, Rachel definitely isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer and we’re never convinced that she remembers to pass on information to other members of my medical team. She also shows up all the time without any of the tools she needs to give me a checkup! For instance, last time she forgot her blood pressure cuffher digital thermometer and her oximeter. This week she didn’t bring a stethoscope. WHAT A MORAN.
I’M ON A NEW MEDICATION NOW. Rachel suggested a remedy for my frequent battle with constipation, and the hospice’s pharmacy in Fort Worth delivered it Friday night: Polyethylene Glycol. It comes in a big plastic jug like motor oil … and the name actually makes me THINK about motor oil. (If you check online you’ll learn that it’s actually an ingredient in antifreeze. Holy shit!) PolyGlycol is a tasteless (thank God) powder that you stir into any beverage, and apparently it’s a very reliable cure for constipation. I’ll keep you posted.
I’LL BE TAKING TOLTERODINE AGAIN for the next couple of days. It’s a prescription anti-spasmodic drug that stops those burning urinary tract pains that I get whenever I pee. (I’ve been battling the same UTI for at least four years!) Sadly, though, Tolterodine causes MIGRAINES … so I can’t take it for more than two or three days at a time. (I just can’t win.)
I’LL BE TAKING TOLTERODINE AGAIN for the next couple of days. It’s a prescription anti-spasmodic drug that stops those burning urinary tract pains that I get whenever I pee. (I’ve been battling the same UTI for at least four years!) Sadly, though, Tolterodine causes MIGRAINES … so I can’t take it for more than two or three days at a time. (I just can’t win.)
I just placed a juicy online grocery order from Wal-Mart that Sam will pick up later this morning (10 a.m.) so we can stock the pantry with some of my favorite snacks and canned soups. Here’s the list, in case you give a crap:
- Great Value Finely Shredded Mild Cheddar Cheese
- No-carb, no-calorie Miracle Spaghetti
- Deli Potato Salad
- Stouffer’s frozen Salisbury Steak individual meal
- Great Value frozen Jalapeño Poppers
- Sugar-free Jell-O cups
- Teeny unfrosted three-inch Bakery Chocolate Cake
- Great Value frozen Italian-Style Meatballs
- Progresso Chickarina Soup
- Progressor Italian-Style Wedding Soup
- Progresso Beef Pot Roast with Vegetables Soup
- Campbell’s French Onion Soup
- Campbell’s Chunky Sirloin Burger Soup
- Great Value Diet Sweet Iced Tea (two gallons)
- Campbell’s Vegetarian Vegetable Soup
- Campbell’s Chicken Wonton Soup
- Hormel Compleats Beef Stroganoff individual meal
- Hormel Compleats Roast Beef with Mashed Potatoes individual meal
And now … it’s 7:55 s.m., Saturday morning, and I have to take my first round of meds for the day, select a nice napping movie and get some sleep. I’m considering Red Dust (1933) starring Clark Gable, Jean Harlow and Mary Astor. It’s a classic sweaty, sleazy melodrama set in southeast Asian rubber plantation. Great stuff.
Thank you for reading this and please do your best to remember the Alamo. I don’t think I’ll have time today.
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