Incidentally, pressure sores are not good news. You do NOT want pressure sores!

It’s the pre-dawn hours of Tuesday morning — 4:30 a.m. to be exact — and Sam is getting ready to go for his morning “constitutional” in his favorite forested area in south Mesquite. Before he leaves, though, I asked him to nuke a bag of frozen cauliflower for me.

I love snacks. It’s always the right time for cauliflower!

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So here’s how the rest of my week is shaping up …

WEDNESDAY. My hospice C.N.A. will be here at 10:30 today for routine bathing and hygiene. She always throws in powdering and lotion at no extra charge. Just like going to a spa!

THURSDAY. It’s time for my regular weekly checkup with Leslie, my hospice V.N. She’ll also treat five new pressure sores that Martha (my R.N.) discovered last week on my butt and the back of my thighs. Incidentally, pressure sores are not good news. You do NOT want pressure sores!

FRIDAY. Ditto Wednesday’s entry (above) with another very pleasant bathing and hygiene session. I also get a salon-quality shampoo once a week and just ordered a leave-in hair conditioner from Amazon to help with intense tangling (my hair is getting long again!) and a very dry scalp. We already use a foaming no-rinse shampoo product for invalids, because it’s not easy to wash your hair when you’re lying in bed!

At some point later this week I’ll probably hear back from my hospice social worker, Theresa, regarding our next monthly meeting. Theresa sent me an email yesterday explaining that she has a bad cold and won’t be able to visit until she’s completely well, obviously due to me being a bedridden old woman with a rotten immune system. The last thing I need now is a cold.

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Shit. I just got a warning message that my mouse batteries are dying.

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I’ve got something to tell you. Grab a glass of lemonade and get comfortable, okay?

For several years I’ve had an ongoing — but intermittent — problem with TREMORS in my tongue, my lips, my fingers and my hands. Lately the tremors are more frequent and worse than usual, making it almost impossible to type and hold onto the mouse, and if Sam was here (he’s in bed right now) I know I wouldn’t be able to talk to him.

These symptoms are all side effects from an anti-seizure medication that I’ve been taking for at least 10 years — Gabapentin — which relieved the pain from “electric shocks” and numbness in my feet and thighs when I used to walk or stand up. So I’ve been thinking … now that I’m bedridden and can’t walk any more, maybe I should try a lower dose of Gabapentin! I’m currently taking 600 mg (two 300 mg capsules) three times a day. If I cut that in half (one 300 mg capsule three times a day) maybe I’ll get rid of those tremors! When my hospice L.V.N., Leslie, is here tomorrow I’ll ask her what she thinks about this.

In case you give a crap, I’ve also got plenty of other side effects from Gabapentin. These include: 1) short-term memory loss; 2) difficuly speaking; 3) jerky hand movements; 4) occasional double vision; 5) a runny nose; and 6) dry mouth. I’m just a great big bucket of STUPID HOO-HAHS!

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It’s 12 noon and Sam is on his way to Costco for our weekly provisions, items such as breakfast burritos, teeny guacamole cups, cranberry chicken salad (if it’s in stock), jalapeño meatballs and — for the first time in a very long time — A WHOLE ROTISSERIE CHICKEN.

I’m so excited about that chicken I might have a brain hemorrhage!  I told Sam we should have it for an early dinner tonight with a container of Bob Evans mashed potatoes. (We buy Bob Evans Mashed potatoes every week with our pickup order from Wal-Mart.) I’ve had a craving for more protein in my diet for the last several days, and a whole rotisserie chicken will definitely give me what I need. (The sooner the better.) Woo-hoo!

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Let’s get this show on the road. It’s nap time.