MY HANDS AND FEET are “on fire.” They’re burning hot, my toes and fingers are tingling like they’ve been “asleep,” electric shocks are zapping through them, and I’m extremely uncomfortable. It actually feels like I’m wearing tight shoes with skin-tight ankle straps… except that I’m barefoot!
MY TASTE BUDS are all fucked up. Food either: 1) tastes like crap; or 2) has no flavor whatsoever. And both options are completely unacceptable! Even my “go-to” favorites like Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup and Green Giant Steamers Backyard Grilled Potatoes taste nasty.
I’m also having a difficult time SWALLOWING FOOD . This really isn’t as severe as usual, but it’s still annoying and sometimes painful … especially when food gets stuck at the bottom of my esophagus and refuses to move. For hours. Trust me, it feels like I’m having a heart attack!
MY TASTE BUDS are all fucked up. Food either: 1) tastes like crap; or 2) has no flavor whatsoever. And both options are completely unacceptable! Even my “go-to” favorites like Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup and Green Giant Steamers Backyard Grilled Potatoes taste nasty.
I’m also having a difficult time SWALLOWING FOOD . This really isn’t as severe as usual, but it’s still annoying and sometimes painful … especially when food gets stuck at the bottom of my esophagus and refuses to move. For hours. Trust me, it feels like I’m having a heart attack!
In addition to all of the above, I’ve also been battling a BLEEDING, ITCHING HEAT RASH on my back, hips, butt and underneath my boobies … the kind of thing that’s pretty common for old, diabetic invalids. In years past I never went into too much detail about this kind of thing, but what the fuck … why not throw caution to the wind. I’m bleeding and itching EVERYWHERE tonight, and it’s driving me insane. The most difficult areas are my back, which is so sensitive to the touch that it feels like a third-degree burn, and under my boobs, which simply feels like shit. My hospice L.V.N. (Leslie) was here on Thursday and slathered me with a miracle cream that’s been known to heal just about everything, and my C.N.A. (Leticia) was yesterday to cover me with a medicated powder. I’m still miserable.
Click here for a detailed explanation of our Shit-O-Meter numbers.
My favorite fonts today? ALL OF THEM! And I’ve been busy since early this morning (4 a.m.) designing mugs and greeting cards for The Howdygram Store.
In case you want any of these fonts for your personal collection I’ll include download links below the graphic.
Hello Friends • Belabour • Nightflashes • Wolvins • Dumadi • Sterling
Fudelines • Alpenglueck • Marmia • Pistacho • Andes Neue • Break-a-Leg
Rally Explorer • Hipster
Fudelines • Alpenglueck • Marmia • Pistacho • Andes Neue • Break-a-Leg
Rally Explorer • Hipster
Incidentally, if you’d like to prowl the Internet for your own free fonts I highly recommend a visit to iFonts.xyz, the best website ever for premium fonts that cost absolutely nothing. The site is based in southeast Asia, and they routinely give away fonts that sell for huge money elsewhere else. (I’m guessing that a large-scale theft operation is involved.) For instance, the aforementioned “Andes Neue” sells on MyFonts.com for $29 per style, or $1,624 for the complete set of 56 styles. Another fabulous website for free fonts is BeFonts.com, although please keep in mind that many of their giveaways are obnoxious demo fonts with a few missing numerals or no punctuation. (If you don’t need quotation marks or the numeral four, you’ll be happy.)
As a bedridden invalid, this pretty much sums up my entire life.
I need lunch now. Thank you for reading this and please don’t forget to remember the Alamo today.
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