FRIDAY, 8:15 P.M. Know what? I’ve had a productive day … and I’d like to share it all with you!
- I woke up this morning feeling rested and fine.
- My hospice C.N.A. showed up at 10 a.m. for my Friday bath and hygiene hoo-hah, which I enjoyed enormously.
- Around 2:30 p.m. I had no trouble standing up from the chaise lounge, walking to the bench, and working at my iMac workstation for seven hours! I was unable to do this yesterday due to unexpected shitty pain in my knees and burning skin on the back of both thighs and a totally disconnected catheter.
- I refuse to tell you that I pooped at 9:30 p.m. before I walked back to the chaise. Pooping is a taboo topic for most writers but a celebratory event for yours truly due to taking a lot of opioids (Norco and two different kinds of Morphine) that tend to make a person’s intestines exceptionally irregular.
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| Read German Potato Salad with bacon and flecks. |
This is one of those tasty, convenient and filling “immediate meals” in a can that I try to keep in stock in our pantry. And while I’m on the subject — tasty, convenient and filling — here’s another fabulous “immediate meal” that I’d like to introduce: DEL MONTE ZUCCHINI WITH ITALIAN STYLE TOMATO SAUCE. Everything about Del Monte’s Zucchini is absolutely perfect … including the texture of the vegetables and the flavor of the sauce. My only complaint would be THERE’S NOT ENOUGH because I had to ask Sam for a second can! And the sauce is so yummy that I’ve been concocting a recipe in my head … next time I want Sam to heat up one can of Del Monte Zucchini with a can of diced potatoes. This would yield one gigantic and tasty tub of food that’s designed for a senior citizen with no lower denture who eats lying down on a chaise lounge. (This gives you a pretty clear picture of my limitations here.)
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| Del Monte Zucchini with Italian Style Tomato Sauce. |
SATURDAY, 8/11/2018, 1:03 P.M. Sam just got home from Costco with a tub of Tide Pods and a boxload of miscellaneous nice food (chicken salad, breakfast burritos, two dozen peeled hard-boiled eggs and chicken flautas). He resisted the usual impulse items (a three-pound jug of cashews and an industrial-sized bag of Brownie Brittle) and only bought what was on the list. He’s always a lot better at that than I am!
My plans for the day include getting up from the chaise and moving to my computer workstation … probably a couple of hours from now when Sam wakes up from his nap. This is usually a major production that includes: 1) moving my catheter bag; 2) a “tush push” to help me stand up; 3) walking an uncounted yet ridiculous number of steps to the bench while Sam stands in the background cheering me on; and 4) Sam’s amazing “warm water therapy” treatment for the back of my thighs (a warm washcloth, mild abrasion and Balmex barrier cream), which has been working like a charm. Jesus, I’ve been healed!
Before I forget …
CRAPPY CATHETER INCIDENT, DETAIL #2
Due to the miserably inadequate training of a hospice R.N. named Julia who showed up to replace my catheter on Wednesday morning, poor Sam was called into action as a skilled amateur gynecologist.
Due to the miserably inadequate training of a hospice R.N. named Julia who showed up to replace my catheter on Wednesday morning, poor Sam was called into action as a skilled amateur gynecologist.
It might be a good idea to publish this post already and make some notes for the next one, which I’ll launch after I get set up at my iMac workstation later this afternoon. A creative brain never sleeps! So … thank you for reading this, and I hope you’ll do your best to remember the Alamo even if it’s just totally superficial.
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