I can’t believe it’s already 4:50 p.m. on a muggy Tuesday afternoon here,
and I’m just getting started on today’s Howdygram post! Sam is in the other room gabbing with the hospice chaplain — the one whose name
isn’t Charlie — and I can’t decide if I’d rather: 1) type; 2) sleep; or 3) eat things. To tell you the truth, I think my answer would be:
ALL OF THE ABOVE, KATIE!
Holy crap.
I must be awfully hungry, because for the last half-hour I’ve been plotting my dinner menu, which will most likely will include a can of Keystone Beef and a can of Del Monte Whole New Potatoes … plus beef gravy of one variety or another, depending on what Sam can dig up in the pantry.
Frankly, canned beef and potatoes are good enough all by themselves (minus gravy) because canned beef tastes exactly like
real pot roast, and canned whole potatoes are mighty fabulous, too. Also, nothing needs even a pinch of extra seasoning.
The flavors are perfect!
 |
| Keystone canned beef will remind you of mom’s pot roast … minus the dinner-table drama. |
As expected, I had lovely dinner that included canned Keystone Beef and Del Monte Whole New Potatoes, heated together in the microwave and consumed with a small metal salad fork. (The actual utensil probably doesn’t make too much difference.) THIS WAS AN OUTSTANDING MEAL … tasty and surprisingly inexpensive. You can purchase both products from
Wal-Mart’s website — the Keystone Beef for $4.28 and the canned potatoes for $1.48 — and wind up with an adequate volume of food that’s enough for two people, or one person and two small dogs, with a side dish of olives. I enjoyed the season finale of “Deadliest Catch” while I masticated.
Now that I’ve got Firefox 61.0.2 loaded onto my MacBook I’m finally able to place my online
Wal-Mart orders again. Not being able to order from Wal-Mart was definitely fucking with my style! Today I ordered five boxes of Wyler’s 12-count Italian Ice Pops (cherries & berries flavors), four cans of S&W Pickled Beets, four cans of Chef Boyardee Mini Spaghetti Rings with Fetal Meatballs, six cans of Del Monte Zucchini with Italian Style Tomato Sauce and a bottle of 90-count Fiber Advance berry-flavored gummi turds. Fantastic,
right?
I have no additional Wal-Mart orders started at the present time. Thank you.
This might be one of the shortest Howdygram posts in recent memory … and that’s because it’s a few minutes past midnight, my MacBook has fizzled down to 36% power, and as soon as Sam wakes up from his late-night nap to go to bed I’ll have to shut down ASAP, stuff a
cannoli cannula up my nose, take a fisful of pills, inject 70 units of overnight insulin and prepare myself for sleep. Incidentally, my “bedtime prep” would also include selection of a light snack, such as canned tomatoes* or Read’s Three Bean Salad (if we have any). Please
email your appropriate suggestions within the next 15 minutes.
Thank you.
Last night at bedtime I asked Sam for a can of Ro-Tel spicy diced tomatoes with jalapeño peppers, and they were absolutely wonderful but almost blew off the top of my head.
Holy shit … TALK ABOUT SPICY! I have another can left in the pantry but won’t be able to eat them unless they’re mixed together with something else, such as a can of sliced potatoes or a can of ordinary (non-spicy) diced tomatoes minus hot peppers of any kind whatsoever.
Live and learn!
Thank you for reading this. The Alamo gives me gas.
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