It’s time once again for the State Fair of Texas.

Today’s the day, people! This was opening day for the State Fair of Texas right here in Dallas. In case you’re interested in shlepping to the Lone Star State for cattle judging, a ride on the Tilt-A-Whirl and a couple of classic corn dogs, please note that the Fair runs from September 25 through October 18 and there are lots of opportunities to get in really cheap or free. These include …

OPENING DAY. Bring a full 20 oz. bottle of Dasani or any Coca-Cola product and  get in for half-price.

ANY DAY. Bring an empty Dr. Pepper can to the Fair after 5 p.m.; admission is half-price. You can also pick up coupons at McDonald’s restaurants across North Texas to get $5 off admission. The coupons also take 50% off children’s tickets with a purchase of a general admission ticket on certain days.

TUESDAYS. If you bring a Coca-Cola can on Tuesdays to get in for only $5. You will also be able to enjoy certain rides for only six coupons.

WEDNESDAYS. Bring four cans of food to donate to the North Texas Food Bank and get in for $4.

THURSDAYS. Free senior citizen admission on Thursdays (October 1, 8 and 15). Also, for the first time this year the Fair is offering Thrifty Thursdays, where food vendors will be selling signature dishes at a reduced price.

FRIDAYS. Get $5 off admission when you print a coupon off KISS-FM’s website.

Regular general adult admission is $18; children and senior citizens (60+) are $14 each. Sam and I haven’t attended the State Fair since 2007 (the year we moved here from California) due to the fact that I’m way too handicapped to walk any more and it’s not easy to push a large old disabled lady in a wheelchair across several hundred acres of gravel with chicken-fried meatloaf on her lap. If you’re lucky enough to be fully ambulatory, however, here’s where to find 2015’s exciting FRIED FOOD FINALISTS. It’s all about the food!

Go to the State Fair’s website for all kinds of other information, such as where to park, where to rent strollers, times for the livestock shows, concert and entertainment schedules, the auto show, pie competitions, quilt displays, pig races and the following thrilling demos and events: Glue A Shoe, Farmer Mike the Pumpkin Carver, GO TEXAN Product Showcase, Ice Cream Sampling, Kitchen Craft Cooking Demos, Picklelicious Pickles Sales & Samples, Texas Forestry Games, Texas Honey & Live Bees, Texas Toffee Sampling & Sales, Jump! The Ultimate Dog Show, Shorty McKoy — the Tiniest Texas Cowboy, Tree Man Stilt Walker and a Milking Demo. Plus hundreds more! Oh boy, right?

It’s 9:45 p.m. and Sam should be home from work within the next 45 minutes or so, at which time we’ll commence with some intensive cuddling because tomorrow morning he leaves for six days in California and I already know I’ll miss him like crazy. Because I’ve got so many mobility problems and can’t walk or stand long enough to get food from the kitchen, to make sure I survive all alone at Howdygram headquarters we’ve stocked the study with Diet Sunkist soda in the mini-fridge, a loaf of Pepperidge Farm rye bread, margarine, an electric tea kettle, 24 bags of assorted Mountain House freeze-dried entrees for senior citizens, plastic silverware, bottled water and a roll of paper towels. I’ve got everything in here except a toilet and a bed.

Beef Stroganoff with Noodles and real cow meat is one of my favorites, also the Biscuits & Gravy. You can even eat right out of the bag and not have to rinse a dish afterwards.

Let me know — send an email — if you’d like to come over with a couple of sweet rolls when Sam is out of town, okay? I love company.