Tangents, tweaks and another Putz of the Week.

I’m between naps and thought I’d stop by for a little while and write a speedy Howdygram post. Or not speedy, depending on how many interesting tangents appeal to me this afternoon. So far I have two.

TANGENT #1: I BOUGHT SOMETHING. I nailed TWO WONDERFUL BARGAINS from Amazon shortly before lunch: 1) a case of Chef Boyardee Mini Ravioli in 14¼-oz. microwaveable tubs; and 2) a 3.4-ounce bottle of Cool Water Sensual Essence eau de parfum.

TANGENT #2: I TWEAKED SOMETHING. Even though I’m positive nobody would ever notice this in a million years, I just started using a slightly lighter shade of red as an accent color for the Howdygram. I have no explanation for this whatsoever other than I wanted to do it, I’m glad I did it and nobody can stop me. So let’s move on, okay?

---

I’ve got a Putz of the Week for you this afternoon, people. Our latest asshole is South Carolina State Senator Lee Bright, a hardcore conservative Republican, whose pet project is filibustering a bill that would make abortion illegal after 20 weeks, but NOT because he doesn’t hate abortion — he totally does — but because the bill makes an exception for victims of rape and incest. Bright says those rape and incest victims had 20 whole weeks to figure this out and now they’re just going to have to give birth whether they like it or not.

Bright told Laura Bassett of The Huffington Post that he thought 20 weeks was plenty long enough, and besides, aren’t women just going to lie about getting raped anyway? Don’t they all do that? “We’re not talking about a woman who’s assaulted and goes into the emergency room — which, I would argue, that child still has a right,” Bright said. “We’re talking about somebody that had 20 weeks.”

Bright is constantly worried that women falsely claim rape in order to qualify for the 20-week exemption. “After 20 weeks if you wanted to get an abortion you could go and say you were raped and you could have the abortion,” he said. “You wouldn’t be denied. There’s no police report.” Apparently — in a conservative Republican’s warped imagination — there’s nothing a woman likes better than to sit around inventing complex ways to get a late-term abortion. But despite his best efforts, Bright failed: the bill passed with exceptions for victims of rape and incest and for the loosely defined “fetal abnormality.”

However I want to take an exceptional issue with Bright’s remark about a woman who goes into the emergency room after she’s raped. His exact words: “that child still has a right.” WHAT FUCKING CHILD ARE YOU REFERRING TO, SENATOR JACKASS? A smear of ejaculate left by the rapist? The egg that Plan B would prevent from bursting from its follicle? What the hell is wrong with this shitstain?! THERE IS NO FUCKING “CHILD” HERE! And while we’re at it, there’s also no such concept as “PRE-BORN.” (This makes as much sense as calling all humans “pre-dead.”) Stop it and go to hell.

Thank you.

---

I’m doing Chinese food for dinner tonight because it’s been far too long since I’ve eaten egg foo young and hot & sour soup, two of the two finest foods ever invented.