I’m parked at my desk drinking Coke Zero and trying to belch. (It’s hell getting old.)

It’s 4:45 p.m. on a breezy Wednesday afternoon and I WANT TO THROW UP. I’ve been fighting nausea for the last three hours in addition to an off-and-on headache, slightly low blood sugar and overall clamminess. Lying down on the chaise didn’t help at all — actually, it made me feel WORSE — so now I’m parked at my desk drinking Coke Zero and trying to belch. (It’s hell getting old.)

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For those of you wondering if Howdygram headquarters is located anywhere near that big stupid “draw Mohammed” hatefest held at the Culwell Center in Garland, Texas, a few days ago — where a couple of Muslim extremists tried to shoot up the crowd and got killed by local police — we’re actually TOO GODDAMN CLOSE when you consider that anti-Muslim violence is now only 14½ miles from our front door.

The art contest in Garland was sponsored by the Freedom Defense Initiative, a right-wing Islamophobic hate group led by professional provocateur Pam Geller, who always tries to justify her activities under the veil of “free speech.” Pam got exactly what she wanted with her death trap in Garland ... two dead Muslims and enough free publicity to hold a huge national fundraiser for her happy band of haters. Mazel tov.

The following map indicates: A) Howdygram headquarters; B) the Curtis Culwell Center event venue in Garland; C) our closest Trader Joe’s on Greenville Avenue in Dallas; and D) my doctor’s office at the Baylor Medical Center in Mesquite. I have an appointment tomorrow morning at 9 for a quarterly checkup and a shitload of lab work.

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The nausea has subsided, I’ve just taken a fresh dose of my favorite prescription painkiller (God bless Norco), and I’m finally ready for a nice hot shower and Chinese food. Tonight I’m ordering from China Cafe on the I-30 service road in Garland, maybe about five minutes from here, because they rubberbanded a menu to the front door a couple of days ago and some of their entrees look terrific. I want to try their hot & sour soup, Cho Cho Chicken on a stick, Hot Spicy Big Shrimp in brown sauce with peas and mushrooms and Vegetable Egg Foo Young. You can come over if you want to but please know in advance that I don’t share my food.

Thank you for reading this.