Wednesday, August 15, 2018

There’s nothing quite like the “glug” and “sputter” of an oxygen generator.

TUESDAY, 8/14/2018, 6:27 A.M. It’s barely 6:30 in the morning here at Howdygram headquarters, and I’ve been awake for two hours already. I’ve also consumed a lot of pills, half a glass of Golden Peach soda, a container of Yoplait Boston Creme Pie yogurt (meh) and two extremely tropical Popsicles. Ahh, I’m stuffed!

There’s absolutely nothing on my agenda for today. Nothing … with the exception of a phone call to my hospice administrator concerning Coumadin and why the hell am I still taking it. Since the beginning of this year every doctor who’s examined me saw (and heard) no evidence whatsoever of atrial fibrillation, which was the reason I started taking Coumadin, a blood thinner, in the first place ... five or six years ago (I forget). A-fib manifests itself as a very rapid and irregular heartbeat. It’s easy to detect when you have it, there’s no mistaking it at all. However, I’ve showed show no signs of atrial fibrillation for at least the last two years and, actually, my heart rate has been very slow (in the 50s and 60s) whenever a hospice R.N. checks my vital signs, which is at least once a week. (And I was hospitalized three times this year, and none of Baylor’s R.N.s and cardiologists detected a-fib, either. I always asked.)

According to what I’ve read online (i.e., on WebMd.com), atrial fibrillation is sometimes a misdiagnosis of atrial flutter, which can (and usually does) go away all by itself. And if that’s the case, I wouldn’t need to continue taking Coumadin or check my blood clotting speed at home!

Unfortunately, Sam and I haven’t had any success with my hospice regarding the Coumadin issue. My vital signs tell them I don’t have atrial fibrillation, and their response is: “Would you rather take Coumadin or 325mg of aspirin every day?” So I ask again … if I don’t have atrial fibrillation, why would I need EITHER ONE? (Incidentally, my answer would never be “aspirin,” however, because it’s an NSAID drug and I can’t take NSAIDs with chronic kidney disease.) But I digress.

This is like finding out that you don’t have a broken arm … but the doctor continues to ask if you’d rather have a hard cast or a soft cast.

So … on Wednesday Sam and I will call the hospice administrator, Bea, and pose the ultimate Coumadin question again. Why am I taking it? If I don’t have a-fib, I don’t need a fucking BLOOD THINNER! Stay tuned for additional information but please feel free to resume your normal routine in the meantime. Thank you.



WEDNESDAY, 8/15/2018, 12:03 A.M. Howdy-do from Texas! It’s the middle of the night here — a few minutes past midnight — and frankly, it feels decadent to be all alone at this hour, typing like a madwoman and listening to the glug-and-sputter of my oxygen generator. Seriously. It glugs and sputters! And it’s also like “white noise” in the background that puts me to sleep … even when I’ve got my laptop open and I’m ready to work on the Howdygram. What a disaster!

Therefore I’ll bid y’all a fond farewell while I publish this post, get a good night’s sleep and resume my adventures in the morning. Come back for more, okay?

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