Saturday, September 12, 2015

More senior citizen food reviews and the Howdygram’s new five-chopper rating system.

Happy Friday night to you and yours from the editorial staff at Howdygram headquarters. Sam and I just spent most of the evening hanging a huge arrangement of Marks family photos in the study. It took a couple of weeks for me to scan, restore, print and frame them; Sam did a stellar job hanging them all. What a good-looking bunch of people! Included here are siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, parents, grandparents and a swimming pool.

Yee-haw and pass the ammo! Former Texas governor Rick Perry officially ended his 2016 presidential campaign yesterday due to zero money and everybody on his staff resigning as soon as he stopped paying them, which employees are inclined to do. This comes almost four years since the last time he quit a presidential campaign. On the plus side, now Perry has a lot more free time to worry about those two pending federal indictments for abuse of power.
Political observers are still stunned at the news that people actually donated money to Rick Perry. This is like ordering new deck chairs for the Titanic AFTER it ran into the iceberg.

Yes, friends, I’d like to review a few more Mountain House freeze-dried meals for you! These include Lasagna with Meat Sauce, a VERY tasty Breakfast Skillet, and a healthy but slightly repulsive version of Beef Stew. [Click here for an explanation of our five-chopper rating system.]
Mountain House Lasagna with Meat Sauce is really amazing. If you close your eyes while you’re eating you’d never know it’s a pile of red mush in a foil pouch. This stuff actually tastes like REAL HOMEMADE LASAGNA with lots of cheese, meat, sauce and wavy pasta. And the Breakfast Skillet is a wonder, too, with big fluffy chunks of scrambled eggs, red and green peppers, pork sausage and hash browns. You don’t even need to season anything, and if you eat right out of the bag you won’t have to rinse a dish!

The Beef Stew, however, only gets three choppers because it’s just teeny cubes of beef, potatoes and carrots with peas — no celery? no onions? — in an underseasoned and colorless stewy gravy. Meh. If you want a tasty beef dish please try the Mountain House Beef Stroganoff or a nice juicy cheeseburger from Five Guys with extra pickles.

We’ve got a houseguest arriving later today. It’s Sam’s younger brother David, who’s flying in from Scottsdale, Arizona, to hang out with us for a couple of days. I don’t know what time his flight gets in but we’ve got plenty of food and a really lovely guest room with clean sheets.

As long as I’m into house pictures tonight maybe I should post some nice shots taken by Sam a couple of days ago. These are the rooms we remodeled this summer! Our projects included:
  • refacing the kitchen cabinets
  • setting up a black metal kitchen étagère storage system with neatly labeled bins
  • refurnishing the family room with a custom-built leather sectional
  • hanging a new bronze chandelier in the dining room
  • painting the wall behind the fireplace and the kitchen counter bar bright red
  • repainting the hall bathroom
  • regrouting/recaulking the shower in the hall bathroom
  • a new shower curtain rod, new towels and new towel rings in the hall bathroom
  • a complete remodel of the master bath with new paint, new vanity counters, new light fixtures, a new vanity stool, an oversized shower with multiple shower heads, handicapped grab bars and a five-foot long stone bench, plus lots of new towels, new towel hardware and decorative whatnots
Assorted photos appear below for your possible interest.
In case you’re wondering, our master bathroom is FUCKING ENORMOUS. I’m guessing it’s about 14 feet square. The rug in front of the shower door is almost six feet long and the shower bench is five feet deep. To take this picture Sam was standing in the center of the room. (Seriously.) It’s big enough for a bar mitzvah.

Thank you for reading this.

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