Saturday, May 16, 2015

Scott DesJarlais is a “pro-life family-values” Congressman who forced his ex-wife and mistress to have abortions.

Yo, guys. Before I start blabbering about my usual routine crapola I want to offer up our latest Putz of the Week: Representative Scott “ Uncle Fester” DesJarlais of Tennessee, a pro-life family-values Congressman Republican shitbag who pressured his ex-wife and mistress to have abortions but votes to restrict them for everybody else. THIS MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM.
“Congressman DesJarlais was proud to vote in favor of the 20 week abortion ban in Congress this week,” his spokesman Robert Jameson told the Chattanooga Times Free Press. DesJarlais, who is also a “respected” OB/gyn from Jasper, “has always advocated for pro-life values,” Jameson added.

What a hypocritical pile of excrement.

Members of the Tennessee and national press have combed through the 675-page court transcript from DesJarlais’ 2001 divorce and found that he “had sexual relationships with at least two patients, three coworkers, and a pharmaceutical representative while he was chief of staff at Grandview Medical Center in Jasper, Tennessee. During one affair with a female patient DesJarlais prescribed her drugs, gave her an $875 watch, and bought her a plane ticket to Las Vegas.” Politico reports that DesJarlais’ ex-wife accused him of pulling out a gun during an argument.

The asshole also admitted in court to coercing his ex-wife into two abortions and pressuring a woman 24 years his junior, with whom he was having an affair, to have an abortion as well.

The Tennessee Board of Medical Examiners has slapped DesJarlais with a pair of fines for inappropriate sexual relationships with two patients. The complaints were filed by Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington.

According to his official Congressional bio, DesJarlais decided to inject his pathetic, lying ass into politics when he noticed patients showing up to his office “with concerns about jobs, government spending and Obamacare.” Exactly what every woman wants to discuss with her gynecologist. Federal spending.
Scott DesJarlais is a liar, a fraud, a moron, a typical pro-life Republican AND HE LOOKS LIKE A HUMAN SUPPOSITORY. Thank you.



I just woke up from a juicy four-hour nap. The minute I sat up on the chaise — the number one best chair on the planet — I knew it had been waaay too long since I took any pain meds (nine hours, I think) plus my bladder was ready to explode. To reward myself for making it to the bathroom without creating a senior citizen puddle I decided to pop TWO 10 mg Norco tablets instead of one because I’m worth it. DRUGS ARE GOOD, people. God bless ’em!
In other fucking awesome news, we’re expecting large weather sometime after midnight tonight featuring very heavy rain with hailstones, wind, thunder and lightning. There’s a tornado watch for most of north Texas until 11 p.m. but the Dallas metro area isn’t included. This time the threat of twisters and flying monkeys is forecast for Denton, Sherman and southern Oklahoma. (Good. Nobody deserves it more than Oklahoma.)



I’ve got a couple of Einstein Awards that might have to wait until tomorrow, okay? It’s late, I’m hungry, I want a hot shower and I need a William Powell movie. I know you understand.

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