Friday, May 29, 2015

People who make me puke.

It’s 11:30 p.m. and I’m stationed at my desk in the study waiting for another huge line of storms to roll across the Dallas metro area. We don’t need more rain but we’re getting it anyway, plus thunder, lightning, hailstones, wind and flying monkeys. Shit. Enough already! The red star on the following map denotes Howdygram headquarters.

If you have a strong stomach I would like to share the following graphic with you ... portraits of repulsive shitbags with varying degrees of notoriety and/or infamy WHO MAKE ME PUKE every time I see their faces. Some are murderers, some are rapists, some are politicians, some are incestuous right-wing religious assholes, some are running for president and SOME — holy crap! — ARE ALL OF THE ABOVE. Please let me know if you have a list of your own, okay? I’d be curious to know if they overlap.

For the last half-hour Sam has been galloping in and out of the house to report on our incoming storms. He says he can see lightning on the horizon now and hears muffled sounds of thunder. It’s obvious that he’s very excited. I think Sam needs a timeout with a juice box.

In other news, check out what I bought last night on Amazon. This is a high-quality manual can opener with padded rubber handles, sharp and pointy gears and a big comfortable knob thingie for senior citizens with gnarly arthritic hands like yours truly. Total price, $8.99 with no sales tax and free Prime shipping.

And so it’s time once again to wrap up another Howdygram post and make some decisions about the rest of the evening, which could include any or all of the following activities: 1) watch a movie; 2) eat crunchy things in bags; 3) inject insulin; 4) horse around with Sam; and 5) I can’t think of anything else. Thank you for reading this. Seriously.

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