Saturday, May 23, 2015

If you hear a tornado siren, run like hell.

Wondering what your editor eats for breakfast on an overcast Saturday morning? SCHWAN’S CORN DOGS! Yes, friends, Schwan’s corn dogs are a healthy way to start your day in addition to being neat, fun, inexpensive, tasty, quick and rustproof. (Ketchup and celery not included.)

According to and all our local news websites we’re expecting FOUR MORE INCHES OF RAIN this weekend along with the threat of severe weather this afternoon. Our rivers and reservoirs are already way past flood stage, and apparently boat ramps at all the area lakes have been shut down due to already being so goddamn full that an ordinary little wake could flood every house within 20 feet of the shore. This is a VERY BIG DEAL even though Howdygram headquarters is not located near any body of water and there’s no way we’d ever get flooded unless the east fork of the Trinity River has a tidal wave.

Before I forget, I downloaded a few new and exciting FREE FONTS tonight! Here they are for your possible interest:
As far as I’m concerned the best free font website is because they offer complete expanded “families” of name-brand fonts with every conceivable font style. I don’t know how they do it without getting sued and/or shut down, but I’ve been downloading excellent fonts from them for years, bless their deceitful little hearts. I think the best font family I ever snagged from FontScore is Neutra, which includes Neutra Display (11 styles), Neutra Drafting (2 styles), Neutra Text (22 styles), Neutra TF (9 styles) and Neutraface Condensed (7 styles).

For your possible interest I use Neutra Text Demi-Bold Alternates for the Howdygram’s photo captions and Neutraface Condensed Medium for the banner tagline, “Made in Texas for Friends, Relatives and Total Strangers Worldwide.” Holy crap, right?

I thought you might like to see what I ordered from Wal-Mart this afternoon as soon as Sam reminded me that we’re low on toilet paper. (God forbid. A senior citizen NEVER wants to run out of toilet paper!) I also decided to throw in two 16-ounce jars of Wal-Mart’s store brand parmesan cheese — which is every bit as good as Kraft but half the price — plus two jars of Smucker’s sugar-free preserves (apricot and strawberry!) and a gigantic jar of Wal-Mart’s tasty pasta sauce, 45 ounces for only $2.65. IT’S A STEAL, PEOPLE, AND IT’S DELICIOUS.

We’ve got another round of thunderstorms rolling through here right now, probably the fourth batch since late afternoon. The forecast for the rest of the night is bleak and includes severe weather starting around 2 a.m. NOBODY NEEDS SEVERE WEATHER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. You can’t see tornadoes in the dark, and the sound of hail at 2 a.m. will scare the living crap out of you. The white star on the following map indicates Howdygram headquarters.
Thank you for reading this. If you hear a tornado siren, run like hell.

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