Saturday, February 7, 2015

West Virginia lawmakers are discussing legal protection for the beautiful babies of rape.

Hi, people. I want to begin this post with our latest Putz of the Week honoree, a lowlife state delegate in West Virginia named Brian Kurcaba, who made the following jaw-dropping remark this week during a House of Delegates discussion of a law to ban all abortions in the state after 20 weeks: “Obviously rape is awful,” but “what is beautiful is the child that could come from this.” Holy mother of crap. Beautiful RAPE BABIES!
West Virginia’s anti-choice fanatics and right-wing lawmakers all agree that at 20 weeks a woman’s blessed fetus can feel pain and is therefore too viable to abort. Wow. That Republican obsession with “fetal pain” again! The bill was passed by West Virginia Republicans in 2014 but vetoed by the governor. Now the state GOP is bringing the bill back to life AND VOTED TO REMOVE THE EXCEPTION FOR VICTIMS OF RAPE AND INCEST.

Kurcaba’s remarks echo a string of insane, misogynist statements by Republicans in recent years regarding rape and women’s bodies. You may recall Missouri’s Representative Todd Akin’s comment in 2012 when he said that pregnancy can’t result from rape because “if it’s legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut the whole thing down.” And Indiana Senate candidate Richard Mourdock, who said that while sexual assaults are “unfortunate,” the resulting pregnancy is a “gift from God.” Douchebag Rick Santorum said the same thing during the 2012 presidential campaign.

Libertarian conspiracy theorist Representative Ron Paul (R-TX) has implied that women routinely fabricate rape stories in order to get abortions. “If it’s an honest rape,” said Paul, physicians should allow the victim to abort, but otherwise, women should not be able to terminate their pregnancies just because they claim to have been raped. What the fuck?!

Due to the over-abundance of ignorant white men legislators conservative assholes shooting off their mouths on this subject, GOP leaders convened an emergency meeting in 2013 to urge their rank and file to STOP TALKING ABOUT RAPE AND WOMEN ALREADY in an effort to stem the exodus of female voters who continue to abandon the Republican Party in droves. Brian Kurcaba, however, apparently didn’t get the memo, because he’s dying to drag rape back into the dialog about women’s access to reproductive healthcare. And he has two shithead cohorts in the West Virginia legislature who agree with him — delegates Matthew Rohrbach and Eric Householder — whose comments were recorded by reporter David Gutman of the Charleston Gazette. (Rohrbach and Householder appear below wearing their official state delegate hats.)
Fetal protection?! I guess the RNC hiring actual media consultants to train their political candidates how to talk about women was about as successful as every other Republican program. Therefore the Howdygram would like to make a very strong recommendation to the old white GOP men in West Virginia and in every other state of the Union:

Shut the fuck up about rape.

And I’d like to make one more thing perfectly clear to all of the ignorant, obsessed jackasses who think of women as incubators from God ... just in case they’re reading the Howdygram. I am 63 years old and I've been fighting this battle my entire adult life: A FETUS IS NOT A LIVING PERSON AND THEREFORE HAS NO “RIGHTS.” A fetus is a clump of cells gestating inside my body* that belongs to ME. Not to you, not to your religion, not to your church, not to your prayer group, not to your political party, not to your twisted congressman and (most of all) NOT TO THE SHITBAG WHO RAPED ME.

*This is totally symbolic because I’m an old lady and I don’t have a uterus.

And now for something completely different: McCormick Premium Instant Poultry Gravy, which is not to be confused with McCormick Regular Instant Poultry Gravy. The big canister of premium gravy costs two bucks more from Amazon, the flavor is poultrier and yellower than the cheaper version, plus you use less of it per cup of boiling water to make your actual gravy. As a handicapped senior citizen who can’t stand around in the kitchen cooking things any more I can wholeheartedly recommend this fast and tasty product, which you can pour on all kinds of terrific things to make a nice meal for old people. A few examples would be Schwan’s frozen chicken patties, white bread with turkey lunch meat, Stove Top instant stuffing and Marcy’s World-Famous Senior Citizen Thanksgiving Bowl.

I hope you’re having a pleasant Saturday evening. Thank you for reading this.

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