Please remember the Alamo tonight after you floss, okay?

Sam and Josh went “gallavanting” today. Due to inclement weather — i.e., an ice storm — in Oklahoma they had to skip their excursion to the Choctaw Casino in favor of sleeping late and a bowl of oatmeal followed by a driving tour of nearby cattle country, which is practically across the street. The following map indicates: A) Howdygram headquarters; and B) cattle ranches. Seriously, I wouldn’t kid you about cattle ranches.

I really can’t imagine what would be appropriate for National Digital Rectal Exam Day.

It’s Saturday, 11:02 a.m., and Sam is on his way over to Fuel City for homemade sugar-free fried pies — apple, pineapple and apricot! — and the world’s tastiest tacos with free limes, free grilled onions. two different kinds of salsa and a whole free jalapeño pepper. (Oy!) Fuel City is a new-ish truck stop in Mesquite at the route 80 service road and Town East Boulevard, one exit before the big Wal-Mart. Fuel City truck stops are very popular throughout Texas.

This morning I belched a belch from the pit of hell.

Hi-de-ho from Howdygram headquarters, where Sam and I are enjoying a lazy yet gorgeous Saturday in northern Texas with sunshine and spring weather and nothing to do except order a lot of light bulbs from Amazon because Sam doesn’t feel like driving to Lowe’s. Herewith is a screenshot of our current weather forecast courtesy of the lying sacks of poo at Weather.com. For the record, we’re sincerely thrilled with the rain prospects next week as we’ve seen nary a stinking drop for the last couple of months.

Saturday in Texas. Thunderstorms, torrential rain, maybe a tornado and spotty hailstones.

Happy early Saturday morning from Howdygram headquarters, where I’ve got a cup of water nuking in my teeny new desktop microwave and a fuckton of exciting news to share with anybody who gives a crap. Do you give a crap?