About 30 minutes into the movie, while Sam was out for his sunrise walk in the woods, I spilled those tomatoes and habaneros all over my chesst in bed … soaking my nightie and the top third of my fleece blanket. Because I was sound asleep when Sam got home at 7 a.m., however, he had no idea what happened until my C.N.A. showed up at 10 to bathe me, at which time I was miserable, drenched, sticky and thoroughly marinated.
MONDAY, JULY 22. There’s a bathing and hygiene session with my hospice C.N.A. (Leticia) at 10 a.m.
WEDNESDAY, JULY 24. Another bathing and hygiene session just like Monday. In addition: 1) it’s also time for my 30-day catheter change (oh boy!), so the hospice’s Director of Nursing, Martha, will be on hand for the festivities; 2) our maid comes at 12 noon but has no involvement whatsoever with my catheter; and 3) former Special Counsel Robert Mueller is scheduled to testify before Congress today. Mr. Mueller has no involvement with my catheter, either. Incidentally, item #3 is a MUCH bigger hoo-hah than item #1 … even if #1 includes my first-ever bladder rinse* this week.
When the hospice’s nurse practitioner was here on Thursday for her monthly visit she noticed the contents of my catheter bag (i.e., “look at all that SLIME!”) and remarked that my bladder was probably long overdue for a good rinse. (I’m okay with this as long as it doesn’t have to be tumble-dried afterwards.)
If you’re wondering what the fuck is a BLADDER RINSE … it’s a procedure for long-term catheter users such as yours truly that flushes the bladder via a “maintenance” solution traveling in the reverse direction. A bladder rinse would be recommended if there’s a lot of sediment or slime in the catheter bag from an incurable urinary tract infection. (Yes, I have an incurable UTI, and yes, I have a lot of sediment and bladder slime. However, if this is too much information kindly feel free to skip to the next section.)
FRIDAY, JULY 26. Same as Monday, except today’s session will include a lovely salon-quality shampoo.
WEDNESDAY, JULY 24. Another bathing and hygiene session just like Monday. In addition: 1) it’s also time for my 30-day catheter change (oh boy!), so the hospice’s Director of Nursing, Martha, will be on hand for the festivities; 2) our maid comes at 12 noon but has no involvement whatsoever with my catheter; and 3) former Special Counsel Robert Mueller is scheduled to testify before Congress today. Mr. Mueller has no involvement with my catheter, either. Incidentally, item #3 is a MUCH bigger hoo-hah than item #1 … even if #1 includes my first-ever bladder rinse* this week.
When the hospice’s nurse practitioner was here on Thursday for her monthly visit she noticed the contents of my catheter bag (i.e., “look at all that SLIME!”) and remarked that my bladder was probably long overdue for a good rinse. (I’m okay with this as long as it doesn’t have to be tumble-dried afterwards.)
FRIDAY, JULY 26. Same as Monday, except today’s session will include a lovely salon-quality shampoo.
If Wednesday’s catheter change also includes the aforementioned bladder rinse, I’ll be glad to provide a complete written description afterwards with appropriate details wherever necessary. Because inquiring minds want to know!
Sam is boiling a pot of pasta as I write this paragraph. Every now and then, like today, I ask him to make an entire box of teeny seashell pasta — or sometimes teeny orzo pasta — and store it in a Tupperware bowl in the refrigerator. That way, during the week he can throw a scoop or two into soup or chili or various entrees on request. Frankly, I don’t eat much any more, so a little extra pasta here and there probably keeps me from starving to death.
Sam and I have been enjoying a diverse list of fine movies today including Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1959) starring Kevin McCarthy and Dana Wynter; Goodbye Mr. Chips (1939) starring Robert Donat and Greer Garson; and My Cousin Vinny (1992) starring Joe Pesci and Marisa Tomei. We’ve also had time to squeeze in a few “Bar Rescue” reruns. (We LOVE “Bar Rescue” reruns!)
I think I’d like to see a splashy Technicolor MGM musical next … maybe Meet Me in St. Louis (1944) or The Harvey Girls (1946), both starring Judy Garland, and one or two Andy Hardy movies from the late 1930s starring Mickey Rooney. Sam and I store dozens of fabulous movies like this on our DVR, including the entire Andy Hardy series (16 films), about 18 MGM musicals, and some of the cheesiest scifi/horror garbage imaginable, such as The Brain That Wouldn’t Die (1962) and The Wasp Woman (1959).
If you have any brilliant and/or creative ways to rememer the Alamo, please let me know. Thank you for reading this.
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