Missing from the above drug list are two kinds of insulin — Lantus SoloStar and Humulin R — which aren’t covered by the hospice. Sam and I pay for my 90-day refills with help from a Medicare Advantage Plan (I have a Blue Cross policy) and an out-of-pocket co-pay. Believe me, this is all a lot more complicated (and insulin is a lot more expensive) than it has to be.
- Bear Creek “Darn Good” Chili.
- Fast Fixin’s Country Fried Steak with flecky White Gravy.
- Great Value Fish Fillets on a hamburger bun with Serious Tartar Sauce* and cole slaw.
- A bag of Isadora Refried Beans with Taco Bell Hot Sauce.
- Homestyle Harvest Twice-Baked Potatoes (two of them).
- A slab of John Morrell Braunschweiger on a bun with Sweet Pickle Relish.
It’s amazing how teeny little things can become monumentally important when you’re a bedridden old coot. For instance, tartar sauce.
For a few minutes I’d like to discuss a weird advertisement I saw on Facebook today, an ad for a new kind of double-sided tape because apparently the world doesn’t already have enough sticky shit.
Introducing NANO MAGIC TAPE in two different size rolls [order yours here]. You just cut off a strip of tape, slap it on any surface and everything will stick to it, such as a can of paint, five or six toothbrushes, the dog, a soap dispenser, garden tools, shoes, random flying insects and so on. When you get bored or fed up you can rip the tape off the wall (zero damage!) and wash it in the sink. Because fun with tape … and we know you always wanted a modern new way to glue your little sister to the wall.
Although I don’t care one whit about this stupid product, I absolutely adore the product reviews, which apparently have been translated into English by an alien life form from the country of origin. (Another hemisphere? Another planet?) Here are several customer comments — all with five-star product reviews — copied directly from the website for your happiness.
It’s late Thursday afternoon, Sam is asleep on the sofa, and annoying streaks of sunlight are trying to burst through the blinds. I haven’t been feeling very well for the last few hours … specifically I’m achy and chilled, my nose and eyes are drippy, and I’ve got electric shocks in my feet and ankles from diabetic neuropathy. In addition to all of the above I also feel CRABBY, and that’s a rare statement for me because I’m never crabby. Therefore I think I’ll take a couple of Hydrocodones … I’m several hours overdue, and if I get rid of my aches and pains maybe my mood will improve, too!
One thing that will make me feel better is food. Tonight for dinner I want a container of Hormel Compleats Chili over a few spoonfuls of the seashell pasta that Sam made for me yesterday. It’s like my own version of Chili Mac … easy to swallow and easy to digest, Hormel’s portion is teeny like an airplane meal (remember airplane meals?), and Sam can throw it all together for me in less than two minutes.
You might be interested to know that Hormel Compleats Chili is probably the best store-bought chili I’ve ever tasted. It’s even as good as my own homemade (back when I could stand up and cook things in the kitchen) and tastes nothing whatsoever like Hormel’s canned chili varieties. You should give this stuff a shot. It’s a perfect little portion, it’s shelf-stable (needs no refrigeration), and it cooks in 60 seconds in the microwave. Take it to work for lunch!
We usually watch one or two reruns of “Bar Rescue” at mealtime and then settle in with a good movie afterwards. We always have dozens of great movies in every conceivable genre stored on our DVR. Sam and I are very friendly and we like company*, so please shoot me an email if you’d like to join us sometime, okay?
Thank you for reading this. It would be awfully nice of you to remember the Alamo for a few minutes tonight before you go to bed. (No pressure.)
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