Unless your grandfather was an actual farmer I don’t really understand the appeal of a barnyard wedding.

I wanted to write a Howdygram post yesterday but I was overwhelmed by many other things to do. These included: 1) designing two dozen very classsy coffee mugs for The Howdygram Store; 2) napping; 3) watching half of “Deadliest Catch” with Sam because we both fell asleep; and 4) I can’t think of anything else.

In case you give a crap, here are two samples of my new classy mugs as mentioned above in item one. Both of these designs — and many others! — also appear on our iPhone and Samsung Galaxy cases, mouse pads, wireless mice and (coming soon) padfolios. Wow, right?

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And now, another herd of THRILLING FREE FONTS for you and yours! Please note that a few of these are demo fonts, which means they may not include punctuation, alternate swashy characters and/or numerals. If you love the font to pieces and want to spend actual money for the commercial version, just Google the font name to see who’s selling it. (A lot of these originated with Creative Market.) My favorites are “Daphne Script,” “Just A Word,” “Mayton Brush” and “Prologue Script.” Download links appear below the graphic in case you’re a collector like I am.

APPLES SCRIPT • DAPHNE SCRIPT • DADDY • HOUNDVILLE • RISING BRUSH • JUST A WORD
MAYTON BRUSH • CONTENTO • PROLOGUE SCRIPT • REMINISCENT DRIVE • HENSA

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Of course I’ve also been stockpiling more and more inspirational digital backgrounds to use for new products in The Howdygram Store. The best source is usually Etsy because they’re exeptionally cheap, sometimes only 65¢ for an entire collection. On the other hand, the designs I find at Creative Market are pricier but offer more sophisticated file formats (for Adobe Illustrator) that let me modify colors and add or delete various elements without having a brain hemorrhage. Several of these collections are also “seamless” ... which means you can tile them in any direction to make a final pattern as big as North Dakota.

And here are my newest graphics packages! The first one was a freebie from BeGFX.com. I bought the mason jars from Etsy. Mason jars stuffed with flowers are a new trend right now for “rustic” wedding themes. Also burlap and lace. Maybe I’m being a little “old school” about this, but unless your grandfather was an actual farmer I don’t really understand the appeal of a barnyard wedding with string lights and everybody swilling beer from empty canning jars. (It makes me think of the Darling family from “The Andy Griffith Show.”)

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Many of you might not be old enough to remember John Hinckley, but he’s the would-be assassin who tried to kill Ronald Reagan in 1981. Hinckley was 25 when he wounded Reagan, press secretary James Brady, U.S. Secret Service agent Tim McCarthy and Washington, D.C., police officer Thomas Delahanty with six exploding “Devastator” bullets. Everybody survived the attack but Brady wound up paralyzed by a shot to his head and spent years before his death in 2014 pleading for gun control.

Hinckley said he shot Reagan to try and impress actress Jodie Foster, who was the focus of an insane obsession after repeatedly viewing her film Taxi Driver.

So why am I telling you this? Because John Hinckley, who’s now a 61-year-old shlepper in stretchy pants, will be freed on August 5 after serving 35 years in a government psychiatric hospital. Doctors are convinced that Hinckley no longer poses a danger to himself or others and will live full-time with his mother in Williamsburg, Virginia.

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Oy. I just splurged at Creative Market and bought one of their “big bundles” from a Russian designer named Dmitry. Nope, that’s not a typo. It’s really Dmitry with one “i.” For the unbelievably low price of $25 Dmitry is giving away 25 of his most exquisite fonts (I’ll show them off in my next post) plus 4 gigabytes of assorted graphics, vector images, hand-painted watercolor flowers and floral elements, background textures, wedding invitation templates and vintage high-resolution papers. Frankly I was really only interested in his fonts (they’re gorgeous), which average about $18 each at Creative Market. (I bought 25 today for $25 and got a pile of other nice things thrown in.) Unfortunately it’s taking all afternoon to download this crapola, and I’m trying to use Dropbox for the first time but without any instructions I can’t figure out where the files are and how come this is taking so goddamn long. Jesus. Three hours!?

Thank you for reading this. (Seriously.) I have to watch TV now or I’ll a nervous breakdown from all these downloads.