Screaming toes are ruining my life.

It’s 7:45 Thursday morning, and I’m already having another nasty pain day today as evidenced by my official Shit-O-Meter readout (see below). The current problem is HEEL PAIN and SCREAMING TOES due to diabetic peripheral neuropathy in my left foot. If you already have miserable neuropathy pain sitting down, try to imagine what this shit feels like when you stand up and walk! I’m taking extra pain pills whenever nobody’s looking. (Kindly keep your mouth shut about this. Thank you.)

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When I woke up this morning — 4:15 a.m., in case you’re interested — I had an overpowering urge to buy a few exciting new digital backgrounds from Etsy plus some cute animal clip art for children so I can continue expanding The Howdygram Store. Here’s what I bought:

I want to use the animals for a line of kids’ greeting cards, maybe with original funny poems inside (I’m very good with original funny poems), and the other backgrounds will be great for almost anything, such All-Over Print Tote Bags, Padfolios, Luggage Tags, snazzy Passport Holders, Mouse Pads, Wireless Mice, Note Cards and even some bridal-themed products. Hot diggity-dog! I’m feeling inspired! I WANT TO DESIGN THINGS!

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So what’s the bigliest hoo-hah here in small-town Mesquite? A NEW RESTAURANT THAT DELIVERS! Sam just handed me an eight-page menu — WITH FULL-COLOR PICTURES! — from Zenna Thai & Japanese that was slapped on our front door. Apparently they’ve got pad Thai, seaweed salad, drunken noodles, lettuce wraps, tempura, satay, sushi and all kinds of rolls ... but first Sam wants to stop by the restaurant to check it out (for example, he refuses to eat aging food from a buffet steam table) before we place our initial order. I’m so goddamn excited I almost can’t stand it. Therefore, if Sam doesn’t make it to Costco for a rotisserie chicken — and a pile of other things — after work today due to more traffic issues on I-30 trying to cross Lake Ray Hubbard [see yesterday’s post], maybe he’ll swing by Zenna and give it a thumbs-up for dinner tonight! The following map indicates: A) Howdygram headquarters; B) about 12 miles northwest on I-30 to reach our favorite Costco — and rotisserie chickens! — in Rockwall; and C) Zenna Thai & Japanese on Pavillion Court, near all of Mesquite’s other fine-dining establishments (i.e., Chili’s and Spring Creek Barbecue).

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Welcome to a brand new Howdygram section, in which I have an opportunity to scream into cyberspace about everything I dislike. Passionately.

FINDING OUT THAT MY DRUGS ARE CONSIDERED “DANGEROUS.” Thanks to an obnoxious article on the Internet, I now know that I’m taking three of the most dangerous drugs in America — Spironolactone, Warfarin and Metoprolol — based on the potential severity of their side effects. For the record, I stopped taking Spironolactone (for high blood pressure) a couple of years ago due to almost blacking out every time I stood up. I also had the same side effect with Metoprolol (to reduce my heart rate) until Dr. Singh cut the dose in half.

AT&T LOVES TO “RESET” MY CABLE MODEM FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER.” At least once a day my iMac screen freezes up, the panel on the goddamn cable modem blanks out, and I have to wait several minutes for the lights to start blinking again, one by one, until I can access the Internet and find out how much of my unpublished Howdygram post I just lost. AT&T sucks. (They’re definitely better than Time Warner, however.)

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Thank you for reading this and please remember the Alamo.