There’s no such thing as too many fonts.

Good morning from the Howdygram. It’s 6 a.m. and I woke up about 90 minutes ago with a bladder emergency. The problem is, I don’t move very fast any more and by the time my brain sends out a signal that IT’S TIME TO PISH IMMEDIATELY I’m still sitting on the chaise trying to get my slippers on. Therefore, without actually saying what I’m trying not to say, a housebound senior citizen with mobility issues like yours truly can’t make it to the bathroom in a situation like this and leaves a puddle somewhere that it’s not supposed to be. And then I get depressed about it.

In other news, I wish Sam would wake up already and bring me some ice. I’m drinking a hot can of Diet Sunkist.

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In yesterday’s post I mentioned splurging on a “big bundle” at Creative Market from a Russian designer named Dmitry that included more than two dozen really excellent fonts in a variety of weights and with dozens of swirlies, swashes and curlicue things. I didn’t include all of them here because a few were really ugly, and friends don’t let friends use ugly fonts.

If you see any fonts here that you want for your own collection just shoot me an email and I’ll be glad to send you the files. I highly recommend the first four script fonts — “Casual Line Script,” “Amelia,” “The Secret” and “Betterfly” — plus “Modern Script,” “Trajan” and “Graficx.”

Incidentally, from now on I’ll indicate the major features of each font family so you’ll know what you’re getting, such as how many fonts are included or if there are alternate characters and swashes. (You can thank me later.)

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These floral thingies were part of Dmitry’s big bundle, too. Hundreds of them, all hand-painted and scanned at high resolution.

The big bundle also included some very pretty floral stationery borders, interesting paper backgrounds, strange wood textures and several dozen wedding invitation templates. And, of course, THIS ... a large volume of weird antique Russian postcards, postage stamps, calendar pages and posters circa the Russian revolution around 1917. Nyet! Wodka! Borscht! Sputnik! (That represents the extent of my Russian language skills.)

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I’m trying to avoid politics today so I’ll include only one simple thought ...

And the following video ...

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THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS TOO MANY FONTS! I just downloaded the following six font families from iFonts.xyz ... which used to be BeGFX.com as recently as yesterday. iFonts.xyz looks almost exactly like BeFonts.com (BeFonts and BeGFX are both operated by the same company) except they have a completely different showcase of free fonts, and that’s fine with me because I always appreciate more! So here they are, and download links will appear below the graphic. You’re welcome.

STYLISTICS SCRIPT & SANS • YUSNIAR SCRIPT • ROLLING PEN • GARDEN FONTS • FLOWERROOM

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Here’s some really yooge news, people ... I just ordered myself an iPhone! Up until now I’ve managed to escape the expense and bother with a nice (free) easy-to-use flip-phone from Consumer Cellular, but Social Security just sent out a mass email about their new updated login process that will include mandatory text message verification to your phone. And my “retro” flip-phone doesn’t do texting! So ... I bought an iPhone 5S from Consumer Cellular for only $160 and added on affordable text and minutes packages. My total monthly outlay will be about $28 including tax.

And now it’s time for a juicy nap and a couple of Margaret Rutherford movies ... probably Murder Ahoy (1964) with Lionel Jeffries and Murder at the Gallop (1963) with Robert Morley.

It was swell of you to stop by today. Please do your best to remember the Alamo and thanks a million for reading this!