Happy Fourth to you and yours.

It’s 4 a.m. and I’m completely upside-down. I should probably get some sleep now instead of starting a Howdygram post, but this is a classic example of my critical thinking skills. The body says “sleep” but the brain says “keep typing, idiot.” So ... onward!

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Oy, I’ve got a huge roster of AMAZING FREE FONTS for you this morning! This is a hell of an assortment, featuring scribbly scripts, hand-lettered hoo-hahs and peculiar whatnots for every kind of project. I’ve got a lot of new favorites here, particularly “Summertime,” “Famed,” “Crazy Cat Lady” and “Seashore.”

Most of the fonts listed below are packaged together in two different bundles. For instance, “Anemone” through “Wildberry” are part of Font Bundle #1, and “Annabelle” through “Tristan” are part of Font Bundle #2. Both bundles include a lot of fonts not pictured here due to being seriously weird and/or ugly and therefore I didn’t bother to install them on my Mac. In case you want any of these for your own collection download links will appear after the graphic.  (You can thank me later.)

Spelling Night • Glorified • Quickfox • Crazy Cat Lady • Wildly

Font Bundle #1 • Font Bundle #2

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Hey there, savvy shoppers ... wondering what’s new at The Howdygram Store? CUSTOM CAN COOLERS! I finished creating the artwork template on Sunday afternoon — oy, talk about a tedious process! — and ran a sample test with my own logo on it, as illustrated below for your possible interest. I’ll begin designing an entire collection later this week ... including some damn adorable ideas for bridal showers and bachelorette parties.

Now that I’ve finished all 50 of my new lunch boxes I can finally devote some time to other products ... can coolers (see previous paragraph), a line of greeting cards with ritzy landscapes, clever tote bags and coffee mugs. Stay tuned, okay?

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This won’t be the Howdygram’s typical, sarcastic “dead celebrity” piece because I just can’t treat this individual like an old rock star.

Concentration camp survivor, author, educator and human rights activist Elie Wiesel, 87, died at his home in Manhattan on July 2. Wiesel won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1986 and recounted his family’s experience in the Nazi death camps in his first book, “Night,” which was published in 1955 and translated into more than 30 languages. He wrote 57 books during his lifetime. 

After his liberation from Buchenwald at the end of World War II, Wiesel lived in Paris, studied at the Sorbonne and began working as a journalist at age 19; in 1955 he wound up in New York as foreign correspondent for an Israeli daily newspaper and settled permanently in the United States. Wiesel was a professor of humanities at Boston University, which created the Elie Wiesel Center for Jewish Studies in his honor, and he helped establish the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, D.C. One of Wiesel’s most famous quotes:

The only role I sought was that of witness. I believed that having survived by chance, I was duty-bound to give meaning to my survival, to justify each moment of my life.

I guess, in a lot of ways, Elie Wiesel actually was a rock star.

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I don’t know if you’ve ever seen this jaw-dropping performance or not, but the Howdygram is pleased to present Donald Trump (the clodhopper in overalls) performing the “Green Acres” theme song with Megan Mullaly on “Ellen” a few years ago. Holy shit.

And this is a perfect segue to my next point. To hell with Chris Christie and Newt Gingrigh ... the Howdygram thinks Donald Trump needs JETHRO BODINE as his running mate! Jethro is an egomaniac who chases skirts and has never progressed past sixth grade, which means he and Donald are so much alike it’s almost frightening. PICK JETHRO!

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Thank you for reading this.