The Howdygram 2: Szechwan Eggplant with Garlic Sauce ... breakfast of champions.

Monday, May 23, 2016

Szechwan Eggplant with Garlic Sauce ... breakfast of champions.

I was jolted awake this morning around 7 by a violent storm and driving rain slamming against the windows. Apparently there had been a severe thunderstorm warning leading up to this, but when you’re sound asleep you really don’t know if twisters might be sneaking up on your house with hailstones and flying monkeys. Anyway, after watching out the window for a couple of minutes at 7 a.m. I immediately fell asleep all over again and didn’t bother to get off the chaise until 11, after which I had leftover Szechwan Eggplant with Garlic Sauce for breakfast with a wad of steamed rice.

In case you give a crap here’s a Weather.com screen shot of our forecast for the next seven days. Exciting, right?

At the present time Sam is doing a Monday post office drive-by, paying our water bill at City Hall, getting the car smog-checked and stopping at our Wal-Mart grocery store for a brief list of assorted whatnots. I will use my “alone time” wisely and take a shower ... after I share the latest round of digital background updates to the Ultimate Gold Box that I bought for $10 from Creative Market a couple of weeks ago on sale. [In case you don’t remember the backstory, click here.] Every few days the designer keeps sending me extra images — 25 to 50 files in all four colors at no additional charge — until my iMac is ready to have a brain hemorrhage and I can’t figure out why he’s giving it all away. To help you put it all into perspective, other designers on Creative Market sell collections of 12 to 16 high-resolution digital gold images for about $9.

Here’s an example of three digital images from the latest free “update” in all four colors. These are so gorgeous they take my breath away.

And from the same Creative Market designer I just bought these ... a collection of 30 watercolor patterns in seashore prints and colors, all high-resolution and SEAMLESS, which means I can “tile” them in any direction to make one gigantic pattern that’s as big as a Buick.

Know what? Tomorrow I have to call Dr. M’s office and have a nervous breakdown with her nurse about prescriptions that aren’t getting refilled. Every time I put through a refill request online with my Wal-Mart pharmacy I have to spend a week chasing everybody’s ass all over town to figure out who dropped the ball ... and it’s ALWAYS my doctor’s office. Right now the missing prescription in question is Amitriptyline, a low-dose antidepressant that I take for neuropathy pain. Thank God I still have enough on hand for three more days or I’d have to strangle somebody for this. Jesus H. Christ.

Thank you for your support.

And now ... another chapter in the life of the world’s biggest loser, CLIVEN BUNDY!

Apparently Oregon Public Broadcasting has obtained an email from Cliven Bundy’s lawyer to Representative Ken Ivory (R-UT), a lawmaker with known ties to the Koch brothers, asking whether the Kochs would be willing to pay the legal fees for the Bundys and their 19 patriotic cohorts, all of whom are presently incarcerated and/or awaiting trial for being the felons, morons and assholes responsible for the 2014 armed standoff at Bundy Ranch and occupation of the Malheur Wildlife Refuge in Oregon earlier this year.

“I cannot represent Cliven for free. I’m not independently wealthy,” Bundy’s lawyer Joel Hansen wrote in his email to Ivory. “I understand from news articles that the Koch brothers are helping to fund Cliven’s efforts to return our lands to the states. I would like to speak with someone about helping to fund the legal fees associated with this case.” Ivory didn’t respond to Hansen’s request.

If the Bundys can’t afford to pay their legal bills — they’re still hanging onto a few million bucks in grazing fees that they owe the Bureau of Land Management — then drop them as clients, Mr. Smartypants I-Went-To-College Lawyer Esquire!

The following photo — and actual quote! — from the Malheur Wildlife Refuge occupation pretty much sums up the group’s failure: DELUSIONAL THINKING. It seems that Ammon Bundy (pictured at left) was promoting the federal government’s property as some kind of WINGNUT MILITIA KIBBUTZ, except you’d have to take a shit in a trench out in back and they didn’t have any hair conditioner and French vanilla coffee creamer.