The Howdygram 2: If all else fails I may have to resort to Plan B. (I love Plan B.)

Monday, May 2, 2016

If all else fails I may have to resort to Plan B. (I love Plan B.)

Hi. Happy Monday to you and yours from a retired senior citizen who doesn’t give a crap that you have to work today because I’ve had enough lousy Mondays to last three lifetimes. If I sound cranky, you may be right. As I write this post I’m having NUMEROUS PAIN ISSUES — burning skin, screaming toes, pressure sores, stiff knees — and so far two doses of Norco haven’t done a fucking thing.

If all else fails I may have to resort to Plan B, which includes a can of diet ginger ale followed by two TicTacs and a nap on the chaise in the family room. I love Plan B.

I think I forgot to show you the fabulous new digital backgrounds I bought this weekend on Etsy.com. They are all the perfect combination of gorgeous and cheap, and most of them are also seamless, which is a huge deal for designers because we can tile them in any direction to make patterns as big as a house.

Know what? I can’t wait to use these background patterns to start creating all kinds of new products for The Howdygram Store! I’ve been a little slow lately, though. I’ve got an “addictive personality disorder” (this is actually 100% true) so it’s difficult for me to focus on more than one addiction at a time. For instance, when I’m writing daily Howdygram posts it’s hard to switch gears and design luggage tags. I guess I have to try harder, because the world definitely needs more luggage tags. Right?

I’ve got more AMAZING HAND-DRAWN FREE FONTS for you, all from different sources. For instance, if you want “Atland Sketches,” “Digital Strip” and “Digital Strip 2.0” you’ll have to visit Blambot.com and hunt around for them. These (and many others) are 100% free, so go ahead and download as many as you want. “Linesman,” on the other hand, is free this week only from CreativeMarket.com if you click here.

Anybody remember Marco Rubio, the robotic little Republican who suspended his presidential campaign back in March? A couple of days ago when Rubio was asked if he’d support Ted Cruz for president, he said: “I don’t have any comment except I don’t think Ted Cruz is Lucifer.” What a ringing endorsement. Thanks, Marco!

Because I miss this stupid little turd I think now might be a fine time for a Marco Rubio refresher course. First, his stunning campaign slogan:

Rubio’s queer store-bought concept of “newness” was insanely ridiculous. “Yesterday is over, and we are never going back,” he said to canned cheers when he announced his candidacy, after which he declared a novel vision for America’s future: Militarism, banning abortion, school vouchers, and celebration of “family, not government.” In other words, the same stupid bullshit we’ve heard from every GOP candidate for the last 40 years.

Two more earth-shaking Marco Rubio quotes (if you can stand it):

“Our ideas are now allowing our nation to fulfill its potential in this new century. I believe I have the ideas for the country. I believe I have the vision for the country. I believe I am positioned to help lead this country to this new American century.”

“I think the 21st century is going to be better than the 20th century. But there’s some things we are going to have to do to make that happen. I think the 21st century can be the American century, and I believe that I can lead this country in that direction.”

What the fuck?!

The only real positive from any of this is ... MARCO RUBIO IS TOAST. After losing miserably trying for the nomination in 2016 and deciding not to seek re-election in the Senate, there’s nothing Rubio can do for the next four years to improve his chances to run again for President. And who the hell would fund his campaign? His donors in 2o16 lost a FORTUNE when their candidate turned out to be a dud, a joke, a robot, a lightweight and a loser with serious personal financial problems who never even bothered to show up for work in the Senate. Thankfully, all of these issues will follow Rubio into 2020 and beyond. The dude is finished.

And now it’s time for an immediate nap because I can’t stay awake one more minute. Thank you for reading this. Tell your friends.