Oy ... will this be the end of the Howdygram?!

I will begin this Howdygram post — my second of the day, in case you’re keeping score — with a heretofore unseen Shit-O-Meter readout.

Yes, dear readers, as I sit alone in the study on a quiet Friday afternoon I find myself virtually and deliciously PAIN FREE for the first time in God-knows how many years. And I give all the credit to Gabapentin, the wonder drug for miserable creatures like yours truly who suffer from advanced stages of diabetic neuropathy. IT’S A GODDAMN MIRACLE. Nothing hurts! I’ve got nothing to whine about!

Oy ... will this be the end of the Howdygram?!

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The answer to that, of course, is FUCK NO, because I can still tell you about the swell new digital backgrounds I bought today on Etsy due to an unexpected half-price Memorial Day sale and finding an almost-expired discount coupon. You can check them out below. All are collections of 10 to 12 high-resolution digital files, except for the watercolors (100 for $2). I LOVE BARGAINS!

Lately I buy just about everything with an eye toward The Howdygram Store on Zazzle. Right now I’m thinking those textured dark metal backgrounds will make very cool iPhone cases for men — hey! Father’s Day and graduation presents! — and the rusted metal backgrounds could be unique and terrific for new mousepad designs. I’ll let you know when to start shopping for some of our new products, okay?

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It’s 10 p.m., Sam is still in Phoenix and I’m bored. I’ve already consumed my evening’s allotment of unexciting pre-packaged nuke-and-serve cuisine — Maruchan teriyaki yakisoba noodles with matzo farfel and Chef Boyardee ravioli — so at this point I should probably opt for a change of scenery and mosey into the family room for some fine TV, such as today’s episode of “The People’s Court” and a film or two. I’ve got a herd of terrific classic musicals waiting for me, including Summer Stock (1950) starring Judy Garland and Gene Kelly, Call Me Madam (1953) starring Ethel Merman and Donald O’Connor, and Royal Wedding (1951) starring Fred Astaire and Jane Powell. If you want to help me decide which one to watch you’ve got 15 minutes to cast your vote by clicking here.

Thank you and good night.