Friday, April 8, 2016

I don’t get it. Why does Congress always want the Post Office to be broke?

Three things, okay?

THING #1: SAM. It’s 1:20 Friday afternoon and Sam is already on his way back to work after getting home this morning at 4:30, sleeping for five stinking hours and eating a plate of teeny tacos for lunch — our favorite 60-second meal from Costco — with a little cup of tasty guacamole. He looked so exhausted when he left that I can’t find words to describe it. Thank God he’s only got a short 13-minute commute or I’d be scared to let him drive.

THING #2: MORE TERRIFIC SHIT FROM ETSY.COM. As I write this post I’m simultaneously downloading TEN GIGANTIC AND “YOOGE” MEGA-COLLECTIONS of digital backgrounds and textures from Etsy. These include bright-colored wood textures, burlap, grunge, watercolors, wicker, textured cardstock, holiday stuff and teeny hearts. Each collection has 56 different high-resolution images, and they were all from the same seller for a total of FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS. Yep, that’s 50¢ each ... and I’m so excited I think I’m shaking. (Texture samples will appear further along in this post along with a few new free fonts.)

THING #3: SHOCKING POSTAL NEWS.There’s BREAKING NEWS FROM THE POST OFFICE today! Starting Monday the price of a regular first-class postage stamp will drop to 47¢ ... a two-cent price cut. Why? Because an emergency (but temporary) USPS rate increase enacted back in January 2014 is expiring. Postal officials want to keep stamp prices at their current levels after estimating the price reduction will cost them $2 billion in annual revenue, but Congress (of course) said “fuck you,” and the Postal Regulatory Commission followed their example and declined the request. I don’t get it, guys. Why does Congress always want the Post Office to be broke?!

Here’s a sample of the fabulous background textures I just bought from Each of these collections (plus several others not pictured below) includes 56 different colors and enough inspiration to make a designer’s brain explode. I’m so excited I can hardly stand it. (I might need some chocolate to help me calm down. Or drugs maybe.)

Here are eight brand new EXCELLENT FREE FONTS. I’m excited about all of them, to tell you the truth, but especially “I Love the Smell of Rain” and “On the Edge of Crazy” for greeting cards I’m designing for The Howdygram Store. I’ll include download links after the graphic in case you want any or all of these for your own collection. Tell the neighbors!

Tonight we’ve got an all-new Putz of the Week for you ... Donald Trump’s ex-advisor and current partner-in-crime Roger Stone, who’s encouraging Trump supporters to “visit the hotel rooms” of Republican delegates who do not hand over the nomination at the convention this summer in Cleveland. Oh my God, is he serious?!
“If Trump does not run the table on the rest of the primaries and the caucuses, we’re looking at a very, very narrow path in which the kingmakers go all out to cheat, to steal, and to snatch this nomination from the candidate who is overwhelmingly selected by the voters, which is why I have urged Trump supporters: come to Cleveland. March on Cleveland,” Stone said. “We’re going to have protests, demonstrations. We will disclose the hotels and the room numbers of those delegates who are directly involved in the steal. We’ll tell you who the culprits are. We urge you to visit their hotels and find them. You have a right to discuss this if you voted in the Pennsylvania primary, for example, and your votes are being disallowed.”

Stone’s remarks were made in the lead-up to what many are expecting to be a brokered convention in July, in which the GOP establishment will probably try to deny Trump the party nomination. Trump is predicting — and practically encouraging — RIOTS IN THE STREET.  

Holy mother of crap. Get your tickets now for BIG FUN IN CLEVELAND!

This is certainly a frightening scenario, isn’t it? Right-wing lunatics pounding on hotel doors in the middle of the night to strong-arm and intimidate convention delegates? That’s called  TERRORISM, Mr. Putz! The GOP already has more than 45,000 whack jobs who petitioned to bring in guns and assault weapons, Trumpster and his screaming gang of hemorrhoids are rah-rahing for violence, the free press is desperate for ratings and revenue ... then stir in an angry mob of ignorant fools, trigger-happy cops, white nationalists, extreme misogynists, the low-end of the electorate being threatened by a dung heap of a candidate ... what the hell could go wrong?! (Make sure you have plenty of popcorn on hand. It’ll be the show of the century.)

It’s finally time to inject insulin, pop some pills, put my feet up and watch a movie with Sam, who just got home from work. Nothing’s better than the look on his face when he gets home on Friday nights. Thank God almighty, I’m free at last!

Thank you for reading this.

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