So that brings me to today’s review. Even though Chef Boyardee Spaghetti & Meatballs have probably been around since cavemen I didn’t know until recently that it came in adorable little 7½-ounce microwaveable tubs. I’ve got a teeny 700-watt microwave on my desk in the study because I can’t stand long enough to make food in the kitchen any more and occasionally want a nice hot meal when Sam is at work. Chef Boyardee sells comfort food AND THIS STUFF IS REALLY GOOD, the two meatballs are quite nice and everything nukes in 60 seconds. I’m giving Chef Boyardee Spaghetti & Meatballs a four-chopper rating. I deducted one chopper because they’re a little too generous with the red sauce and I feel stupid eating spaghetti with a teaspoon.
Anyway, here they are. I’ll include download links after the graphic.
And now for my favorite section ... news from the 2016 Republican Clown Car! I’ve got a few hot stories even though you’ve probably read them elsewhere by now. To begin, three seriously disliked GOP goons have finally suspended their presidential campaigns after realizing they have zero voter support and zero money to continue hauling their sorry asses all over middle America. I refer to Mike Huckabee, Rick Santorum and Rand Paul.
MIKE HUCKABEE — a certified wad of dried Arkansas dung, stalwart pal of the repulsive Duggar family and apologist for their child-abusing son — will most likely continue his pizza-and-handshake tour anyway because: 1) he really likes pizza; and 2) he’s still plugging his last book, God, Guns, Grits and Gravy. Holy shit.
After snagging votes from three or four former fetuses in the Iowa caucus, RICK SANTORUM — the ferociously anti-choice, anti-birth control candidate — announced an end to his sad campaign and the decision to throw his valuable support behind thirsty third-place loser Marco Rubio.
However, when asked over and over to name a single one of Senator Rubio’s accomplishments while serving five years as a United States senator from Florida, Santorum came up with ABSOLUTELY NOTHING on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” earlier today. He tiptoed around the question for several minutes but finally concluded that “I guess it’s hard to say there are accomplishments” when a junior senator is working in a government “where nothing gets done.” Co-host Mika Brzezinski said the conversation with Santorum was “disturbing.” Damn right. Rubio doesn’t even show up in the Senate to VOTE.
RAND PAUL is retreating back to Kentucky to work on his campaign for the Senate. Yes, friends, he was running for BOTH OFFICES simultaneously, which is technically illegal in Kentucky but what the fuck, why not let the weirdo with the dead chinchilla on his head do whatever the hell he wants.
RAND PAUL is retreating back to Kentucky to work on his campaign for the Senate. Yes, friends, he was running for BOTH OFFICES simultaneously, which is technically illegal in Kentucky but what the fuck, why not let the weirdo with the dead chinchilla on his head do whatever the hell he wants.
Now let’s turn our attention to DONALD J. TRUMP, the sorest goddamn loser in the history of America, who’s threatening to sue Iowa for his loss to Ted Cruz. He also wants a caucus do-over because fairness.
And finally we have JEB BUSH, the saddest nebbish who’s ever run for public office. Jeb is such a clueless jerk he’s making Dubya look like Einstein. And he’s even changed his campaign slogan three times in six months hoping something will click with voters. Here’s the latest:
I’ll wrap up today’s post with another dead celebrity. We’re mourning the loss of pop culture satirist Bob Elliott, 92, who was one-half of the successful comedy duo Bob and Ray. Elliott passed away this week at age 92. His partner Ray Goulding died in 1990.
I don’t know if there are any Bob and Ray videos on YouTube but it’s worth doing the research because their material was AMAZING. For instance, here are some of their unforgettable commercial parodies:
- The United States Post Office ... “Makers and distributors of stamps.”
- Cool Canadian Air ... “Packed fresh every day in the Hudson Bay and shipped to your door.”
- Grime ... “The magic shortening that spreads like lard.”
- The United States Mint ... “One of the nation’s leading producers of genuine U.S. currency.”
- Penuche ... “With or without nuts, the greatest name in fudge.”
- Kretchford Braid and Tassel ... “Next time you think of braid or tassel, rush into your neighborhood store and shout, KRETCHFORD!”
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