Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia dropped dead today. Let’s eat saltines.

It’s hard to believe there’s already another Republican debate tonight, this time hosted by CBS and the Wall Street Journal from somewhere in South Carolina. I seriously don’t understand why in hell these assholes find it necessary to continually debate each other because THEY’RE ALL THE SAME PERSON — evil, arrogant, regressive, racist, misogynistic, whiny and repulsive — and nothing ever changes! Tonight’s event, however, will be the first debate minus Chris Christie, Carly Fiorina and Jim Gilmore, who all suspended their campaigns after the New Hampshire primary. This evening’s candidates from the pit of hell will include Donald Trump, Turd Cruz, Dubya’s Brother, John Kasich, Marco Robot and Ben Carson. (Ben Carson’s campaign has been on life support since before the Iowa caucuses. I think everybody would love to know where he’s getting the dough for this never-ending dead-end endeavor.)

If you can stomach any of these clowns again on live TV please check out your local CBS station starting at 8 p.m. Central time tonight. And best of luck to you.

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Here’s something exciting ... I’m experimenting with a NEW CAPTION FONT for images that I post on the Howdygram! I spent half the day yesterday horsing around with possible fonts and finally decided on the one you see in the previous section. It’s “Cargan Medium,” and I think it’s more legible than the font I’ve been using for the last few weeks, “Amsi-Narrow Bold.”

I’m absolutely positive you don’t give a shit about this in any way whatsoever, though, so I apologize for annoying you.

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It’s been a while since my last official Shit-O-Meter pain report, mostly because I haven’t had much real pain and I felt almost mediocre after my leaking pressure sores finally healed and the dressings came off. As of today, though, I’m experiencing all of the following: 1) a pulled groin muscle; 2) burning skin on my upper thighs; 3) chills; 4) itchy shins; 5) gas pains; 6) stiff knees; 7) an overall feeling of general lousiness; and 8) I’m sleepy, thirsty and moderately crabby.

Sam did his best to cheer me up a few hours ago and brought home two orders of tasty chicken fajitas tacos and a sack of sugar-free fried pies from the world-famous Fuel City truck stop here in Mesquite. The one at Town East Boulevard and Route 80.

I’ve never been to Fuel City and I’m hoping that maybe one day Sam will take me in my wheelchair for an outing. (Okay, not really.)

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I made three fucking wonderful purchases online today.

MEMORY FOAM SLIPPERS. A new pair of memory foam slippers from FootSmart.com (same kind I buy all the time) except these are PINK because no other colors were available in my size. (I wear an 11½-WW. Stop laughing.) They were on sale for $14.95, which is very cheap and practically half price.

A FUCKLOAD OF GORGEOUS ADOBE ILLUSTRATOR BACKGROUNDS. One of my all-time favorite artsy-fartsy websites for graphic designers is CreativeMarket.com, where a person with a credit card can load up on art elements, original fonts, backgrounds, textures, stock photos, illustrations, icons, etc., all at exceptionally DIRT CHEAP prices. Today I bought a file of 50 gold high-resolution background textures (with a bonus file of 25 silver textures) for $15, which I’ll use for new projects for The Howdygram Store on Zazzle. Such as greeting cards, for instance. You should stop by and check out what’s what because I’ve added a lot of new products (see below).

Pictured here are our Cupcake spiral notebook, the Stampede mousepad, a personalized Black Damask note card and three clever birthday cards. Hey, people ... it’s time to go shopping!

A NICE BIG BOX OF POP SECRET MICROWAVE POPCORN. The best price in town is on Wal-Mart’s website because you can get 10 bags of Pop Secret with Movie Theatre Butter for only $4.98. And zero tax and FREE SHIPPING.

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Holy shit. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia dropped dead today! The lousiest right-wing asshole on the bench, who was 79 years old, died in his sleep early this morning at a luxury resort near Marfa, Texas, after spending a pleasant day murdering quail all day yesterday with friends. (He had friends?) Scalia was appointed to the Supreme Court by Ronald Reagan. He wore out his welcome years ago.

Republican heads, of course, are already exploding like grenades. They’re collectively pinky-swearing on a stack of Really Holy Jesus books to block any replacement nominee by the Obama administration due to seriously believing a Republican will win the White House in November. What a sad and delusional herd of clowns! I have a hunch that tonight’s GOP debate will be a real sideshow as soon as the moderators bring up the Supreme Court, so LET’S ALL WATCH THE DEBATE! I’ll make lemonade and we can eat saltines and butter, okay?

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I am the luckiest woman in the world to have Sam. I just thought I’d mention that before I migrate into the family room to eat dinner and maybe watch a movie.

Thank you for reading this.