Sunday, December 20, 2015

That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.

Some days start off a lot better than others. This morning, for instance, I woke up at 5:15 with a headache, low blood sugar and intense pain from those disgusting pressure ulcers on the back of my thighs. However life began to improve as soon as I hauled myself into the study for a teeny tub of Idahoan instant mashed potatoes, a can of diet ginger ale and an abundance of prescription painkillers ... after which I discovered a new website — — packed with thousands of amazing TOTALLY FREE FONTS that I’ve never seen before. For a retired graphic designer like yours truly who’s also disabled and housebound, fonts are the best distraction on earth not counting William Powell movies ... and there’s no such thing as too many!

Here’s the list of today’s haul; links appear below the graphic in case you want to download a few for your own collection. Please note that many of these fonts include multiple styles (light, medium, bold, etc.) and a few even have ornaments, dingbats, fancy-schmancy caps and catchwords! Wow, right?

I thought you might be interested in our seriously non-Decemberish weather forecast courtesy of We’re probably 20° warmer than average for this time of year and the weather on Christmas Day looks more like Easter. Looks like Santa will have to figure out an alternate method of transportation; sleighs suck when there isn’t any snow.

Three DVDs from Amazon! Year and after year it’s impossible to find these movies on any of the cable stations, which is annoying as hell because they’re all so goddamn excellent. My two favorites are Pollyanna (1960) starring Hayley Mills and Jane Wyman and White Christmas (1954) starring Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye. Sam loves It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) starring Jimmy Stewart, Clarence the Angel and Mr. Potter. Now they’re all part of our permanent video library here at Howdygram headquarters! 

There’s breaking news today from our Really Tall Farmers And Their Pigs department. Actor James Cromwell Farmer Hoggett was among six people arrested at an upstate New York power plant when they blocked an entrance to the construction site at the Competitive Power Ventures power plant. They were arrested on disorderly conduct charges and ordered to appear in court in January. CBS New York reports that police had to use bolt cutters to hack off a metal harness that Cromwell and two other demonstrators put around their necks. The protesters believe that toxins from the plant may be causing health issues and lower property value in the area. That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.
Thank you for reading this.

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