Monday, December 7, 2015

If at first you don’t secede, try, try again!

So here’s the scoop. On Saturday a cotillion of right-wing yahoos in the Texas legislature failed to pass a measure that would have asked voters to decide whether or not the Lone Star State should secede from the rest of the U.S.A. According to the bill’s sponsor, voters would have been faced with a non-binding “yes” or “no” survey question on the upcoming March ballot. The proposal had been a hot debate among members of the state’s Republican party, which is run by assholes that spew some extremely scary shit.

The thing is, Texas loves to think we could survive as a whole ’nother country without the feds, but that’s just a load of crap. If Texas secedes the federal government will take back NASA, 15 very large military bases and all the business they generate in surrounding communities, cancel all interstate road maintenance, end Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and benefits for veterans, and — most of all — NO MORE FEDERAL DISASTER AID. Year after year Texas is always the United States’ number one customer for disaster aid.

And this sure would fuck up Donald Trump’s border wall, wouldn’t it?

I am frequently embarrassed to live here. It’s a good thing I’m a retired, housebound senior citizen because the outside world has turned into a cesspool.

I have an unexpected appointment with Dr. M tomorrow morning. She apparently didn’t receive the email I sent yesterday on Baylor Health’s patient portal website — what the fuck!? — announcing my latest urinary tract infection and can I please drop off a jar of pee at the lab without making a regular appointment to see you because I don’t have a wheelchair right now and I can’t function without one.

But ... this morning when I didn’t get a response to the email Dr. M didn’t receive, Sam drove over to Baylor to ask for a specimen cup to-go and found out that my doctor wants me to show up Tuesday morning at 11:30 ... and the clinic has a bariatric wheelchair I can use. Unfortunately, I’M A NERVOUS WRECK. Bariatric wheelchairs come in lots of different seat widths for different size butts and I have no idea if I’ll actually be able to use the chair at Baylor or not. It’s like telling somebody you can borrow a pair of jeans without knowing what size they are.

Please stay tuned for additional information and thank you for your support.

I’ve got a nice juicy Putz of the Week for you today, people. Once again it’s 2016 GOP clown car passenger Jeb Bush, whose campaign staff is obviously as bright and talented as he is! The website domain currently directs visitors to Donald Trump’s official campaign site — — because Jeb’s crew of hapless screw-ups forgot to buy it.

This is an embarrassing, unforgiveable and really stupid oversight, because candidates who don’t lock up all derivative domain names at the start of a campaign will see them fall into the hands of wily opponents. Jeb Bush is such a dumb slob.
FYI, a recent CNN poll says Bush is polling at just 3% among Republican voters nationally, 33 points behind Republican frontrunner Trump. And Bush will most likely have to join the kids’ table for the December 15 debate.

As for the domain name brouhaha, let’s consider this an object lesson on how Jeb and his team would run the country. After saying he probably wouldn’t attend the Paris climate conference and now this, we can see he is tone deaf, technically incompetent, and out of touch with the tools of the modern world. What a twit.

Thank you, shalom, have a nice day and I’m ready for a nice how shower now.

No comments: