Friday, February 27, 2015

Lindsay Lohan has fucked up her community service hoo-hah.

Hi-de-ho, y’all. It’s 4 a.m. Thursday morning and I haven’t been to bed yet due to an abundance of strangely-timed naps on Wednesday night. I thought I’d hang out with the Howdygram for a while until I’m ready to conk out.

THERE’S SNOW ON THE WAY. says it’s supposed to kick in around 10 a.m. and dump about three inches on the Dallas metro area. There’s another 50% chance of additional snow tonight and then — OH NO, NOT AGAIN! — a whole new round of ice and freezing rain on Saturday morning. I’m staying home with a big bag of Pop Secret. Anybody who wants to join me please send an email to reserve a spot on our sofa.

I don’t know if any of you noticed this recent story on the gossip websites or not, but America’s favorite success story — the sad, unwashed starlet Lindsay “Einstein” Lohan — has been ordered by a judge to perform an additional 125 hours of community service after submitting a pile of bogus bullshit from her temporary home in London to the Los Angeles Superior Court. Specifically, Lohan tried to claim that meet & greet sessions with her fans and giving “unfortunate kids” free tickets to her second-rate performance in a West End play qualified as court-ordered community service. The court disagreed and Lohan’s attorney is having a cow.
In case you need a refresher, Lohan is still on probation for a 2012 car wreck in which she was intoxicated, fled the scene of the accident and then lied to police. She could end up in jail if she continues to fuck up the community service hoo-hah.

Time to take a trip to sleepyland. Thank you for dropping in. Tell your friends, okay?

No comments: