Sunday, December 7, 2014

Saturday night included spectacular goyishe Christmas lights and a pleasant trip to Eatzi’s.

Here’s some huge, juicy breaking news from our Guess Which Senior Citizen Finally Hauled Her Creaky Ass Out of the House department! Sam and I actually drove into Dallas last night and looked at some spectacular goyishe Christmas lights in the Highland Park neighborhood. Here are a few samples in case you give a crap.
Afterwards we stopped at Eatzi’s just south of Highland Park on Oak Lawn Avenue, which is probably the best gourmet market EVER with all kinds of fabulous prepared salads and cold entrees to go, imported cheeses, hundreds of salamis, crunchy things, a bakery, wine, free samples and real chefs.
Even though we had a little trouble maneuvering the narrow aisles with my wheelchair it was definitely fun to peel rubber in an actual store. To celebrate the occasion we bought: 1) large flat crusty encheesened chicken breast for me; 2) two stuffed baked potatoes for Sam; 3) a small turkey meat loaf with spicy sauce; 4) snow pea salad; 5) garlic bread; and 6) one chicken burrito on steroids.
The following map indicates: A) the snooty Christmas lights neighborhood in Highland Park; B) the Shops at Highland Park Village; C) Eatzi’s; and D) the George W. Bush Presidential Library at Southern Methodist University featuring Dubya’s comic book archives and an embarrassing gallery of mediocre dog portraits. People actually pay money to see this shit.

I can’t explain how it happened, but I completely forgot to show you what I ordered from Wal-Mart a couple of days ago. I’d like to call your attention to the Bausch & Lomb Sight Savers, which are a Genuine Howdygram-Approved Bargain compared to the Zeiss lens wipes I’d been buying from Amazon. At Wal-Mart the Bausch & Lomb wipes are $2.97 for 100; the Zeiss are $9.88 for the same quantity on Amazon. Holy crap, right?

The big hoo-hah of the day at Howdygram headquarters will involve setting up the new Epson WorkForce 3640 printer that arrived on Friday. This thing is GORGEOUS, by the way, and about the same size as our old Epson WorkForce 635 except taller due to two paper trays instead of one.

At first glance the 3640 looks easy enough to tackle on our own without the help of a technical geek who makes over-priced house calls since we already have an Epson printer and can probably just plug the old power cord and Ethernet cable into the new one and then install the software on our iMacs. If something doesn’t work out I can always call Epson’s help desk tomorrow and have a nervous breakdown.

Also ... last night I ordered an extra set of ink cartridges from Amazon because the cartridges that come with the printer are only partly filled “starter” cartridges that probably won’t last very long. I bought a package of five generic replacement cartridges — two high-capacity black, one magenta, one cyan and one yellow — for only $16.48. If I ordered from Epson I’d have to spend $127.99 for the SAME DAMN THING.

And now I think I might go back to bed for a while. Thank you for reading this.

No comments: