For you, though, life will get back to “normal” sooner rather than later. You’ll go back to work. The kids will go back to school. You’ll go to a favorite restaurant if it didn’t already go bankrupt, get a haircut, enjoy a manicure and shop for shoes.
But that’s not the case for me. I’ll just continue to lie here with screaming pain in my legs and an oxygen cannula up my nose while I spill hot ramen noodles on my chest for entertainment. Woo-hoo!
While we’re still waiting for Martha (she’s late!) I thought I’d share the following photos with you. A few days ago Sam started calling arborists to get a quote for cutting down a dead “forest pansy redbud” tree in our back yard. It was a gorgeous flowering tree with raindow-colored leaves, but unfortunately it never really thrived and eventually kicked the bucket about a year ago with several conspicuous and large dead branches. After receiving some ridiculously expensive ($400+) quotes from two arborists, Sam decided to go with “Plan B” … buy a chainsaw at a fraction of the cost and do the job himself!
Sam whacked down the forest pansy redbud and hauled the wood and branches out to the curb for trash pickup. And then a couple of days later he used the chainsaw to trim the beautiful tree in our front yard and all of the shrubbery, too. He did a terrific job, saved us hundreds of dollars and learned an exciting new manly Texas skill … THE ART OF WHACKIN’ DOWN SHIT WITH HIS VERY OWN CHAINSAW!
I don’t know when it will be “planting season” again here in north Texas, but I’m sure Sam will eventually fill that pretty stone tree circle in our back yard with some nice flowering shrubbery because it’s in a strategic location with a central view from the bay windows in our master bedroom.
Which brings me to a traumatic hoo-hah coming up on Monday, June 15 … I’M GETTING A NEW HOSPITAL BED. The one I’m using right now has butt dents and isn’t very comfortable any more. While a new hospital bed is definitely the right thing to do for my comfort and overall health, it’s also an undertaking that involves some major strategy … and potentially a great deal of pain. I have to roll from side to side while a team of nurses shove a “draw” sheet underneath me so they can slide me onto the new bed. I’m NOT looking forward to this and already have an enormous cocktail of serious pain medications ready to go. They include: 1) two Hydrocodones; 2) one Xanax; 3) a dropper full of liquid Hydromorphone; and 4) a yooge quantity of Bengay cream smooshed onto both kneecaps.
The liquid Hydromorphone is my favorite part of all this. It may taste like battery acid but it works like a charm. (And it’s fast.)
I’ll let y’all know how Monday’s bed transfer turns out. Please feel free to resume your normal everyday activities in the meantime.
The price points are excellent. too. The bath ceramics are $25.65 per set and the 20" x 30" bath mat is $33.50. A smaller 16" x 24" mat is only $27.90. (Hint … if you wait for everything to go on sale you could save as much as 50%.)
I’ve already got most of my bath ceramic designs finished and uploaded to my store, and now I’m working on the matching bath mats. Shower curtains are next. This is very inspiring … and a huge relief to design something else besides iPhone cases!
When I’m done with my bath coordinates there are other products in my store that need some new designs … decks of playing cards, coasters, mason jars, padfolios, clipboards and spiral notebooks. That’s more than enough creative work to last me a while. (I wonder if I’ll live long enough.)
Aside from being an amazing dip for Boom Boom Shrimp, this stuff is also terrific with peel & eat shrimp instead of cocktail sauce, on batter-dipped fish fillets instead of tartar sauce … and even as a sandwich spread and on HAMBURGERS, too! Great Value’s Boom Boom Shrimp Sauce is heaven in a jar, and we’re happy to award it with our coveted five-chopper rating. You can buy Boom Boom Shrimp Sauce at Wal-Mart, Amazon, and Amazon Fresh.
But I’d like to take a moment away from the life of an aging bedridden blogger to discuss COVID-19 and the state of Texas. A week ago GOP Governor Greg Abbott and GOP state officials in Austin issued an executive order that announced it was “time to reopen the Great State of Texas” — superceding county and municipal directives — and ended the lockdown so everybody could go back to work and flock to their favorite restaurants, hair salons and malls. Unfortunately (but not surprisingly) the GOP state officials were DEAD WRONG, because Houston is now peaking with the most new Coronavirus cases in the U.S.A. to date … and they’re planning to turn a major sports stadium into a gigantic emergency ward to help treat the patients who can’t fit into Houston’s hospitals.
It’s even worse here in Dallas. Even though we have two million fewer residents than Houton, Dallas has far more deaths … and far more new cases!
As a result of all this “reopening” bullshit, national medical officials are calling Texas a “disaster” and Governor Abbott is now reconsidering a whole new lockdown. Sam actually predicted all of this … and that’s why he keeps such tight rules for the two of us. No visitors, no restaurant food (including free no-contact deliveries), all incoming packages from UPS and FedEx have to sit in the front foyer for 72 hours before he’ll open them, and he even bought a professional electric razor from Amazon to cut his own hair!
We’ll all get through this. Thank you and good night!
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