DIGESTION. I’ve had a love affair with food my entire life, so not being able — or wanting — to eat makes me very sad. Aside from dealing with swallowing problems and the death of my taste buds from advanced diabetic neuropathy, I can’t digest anything, either. For the last few months my pitiful diet has consisted (mostly) of applesauce, Mylanta, Glucerna meal replacement shakes for elderly diabetics, prescription nausea medications and Otter Pops. When I desperately need actual food I turn to hot and sour soup from China City. That’s it, folks.
THE MYSTERY FEVER FROM HELL. This is happening more often than not lately … waking up from a nap, feeling limp and soaked to the skin with wet hair dripping down my neck. Although I don’t detect that I’m running a high fever, somehow it “breaks” while I’m still sleeping and I wake up drenched and exhausted. This is fucking insane and has already happened several times in November … and twice this week alone (Wednesday and Thursday). Personally, I think the Mystery Fever from Hell is directly related to my three-year-old urinary tract infection (UTI). One of my hospice nurses will be here tomorrow. I want to ask her opinion.
MISERABLE PISHING ISSUES. It’s only been two stinking weeks since my catheter was removed — due to symptoms from the aforementioned UTI and severe pain from bladder spasms — and I’m already at my breaking point. There are no real options now where pishing is concerned … since I’m completely bedridden, all I can do is lie here like a mannequin, pee all over myself and wait for Sam to mop me up! Trust me, it’s as horrible as it sounds, and I hate it.
THE MYSTERY FEVER FROM HELL. This is happening more often than not lately … waking up from a nap, feeling limp and soaked to the skin with wet hair dripping down my neck. Although I don’t detect that I’m running a high fever, somehow it “breaks” while I’m still sleeping and I wake up drenched and exhausted. This is fucking insane and has already happened several times in November … and twice this week alone (Wednesday and Thursday). Personally, I think the Mystery Fever from Hell is directly related to my three-year-old urinary tract infection (UTI). One of my hospice nurses will be here tomorrow. I want to ask her opinion.
MISERABLE PISHING ISSUES. It’s only been two stinking weeks since my catheter was removed — due to symptoms from the aforementioned UTI and severe pain from bladder spasms — and I’m already at my breaking point. There are no real options now where pishing is concerned … since I’m completely bedridden, all I can do is lie here like a mannequin, pee all over myself and wait for Sam to mop me up! Trust me, it’s as horrible as it sounds, and I hate it.
Please forgive me for whining like this. I’ll get over it. I promise.
It’s 1:15 p.m. Monday afternoon and Sam has gone pie-shopping. He was far too sick all week to buy (or enjoy) a pie for Thanksgiving, but today is a different story altogether. He’s a man with a mission! I believe Sam’s first stop is Kroger, and if they don’t have what he wants (either pumpkin pie or apple crumb) he’ll move on to Tom Thumb in Garland, the one at Northwest Highway and Centerville Road.
In case you’re interested, the following map indicates: A) Howdygram headquarters; B) Kroger on the I-30 service road; C) Tom Thumb in Garland, which I mentioned in the preceding paragraph; D) our local Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market, which doesn’t have an exciting bakery department; and E) nearby cattle ranches in Sunnyvale. (Cattle ranches have nothing to do with pie, but you probably already knew that, right?)
I have a few photos to share, and then it’s time to work on a few new Christmas card designs for The Howdygram Store.
For the last 24 hours you may have seen this idiotic fake photo of Trump all over the Internet, making fun of the Orange Dotard for posting this picture of himself as genuine. As a matter of fact, Trump’s 2020 campaign staffers actually got pissed off when the media pointed out that somebody Photoshopped Trump’s head on the body of Sylvester Stallone from a 36-year-old poster for Rocky III. Have a good laugh, okay?
Thank you for reading this. My work is done here!
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