Happy birthday to me!

First of all, before I forget, please allow me to illustrate the importance of November 1. You already know the song and the melody, so please join in!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL US BEDRIDDEN OLD COO-OOOTS,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.

I am 67 years old today. SIXTY-FUCKIN’-SEVEN YEARS! The celebration began this morning at 4 a.m. with a single-serving portion of Stouffer’s Spaghetti and Meat Sauce (review to follow), one vanilla Hostess Zinger, a nice big glass of iced tea and indigestion. The rest of the day has been wonderful so far, including: 1) lots of quiet time with Sam; 2) watching today’s episode of “The People’s Court” plus a few excellent movies, such as The Post (2017) starring Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep; 3) placing another exciting pickup order from Wal-Mart Grocery; and 4) planning tonight’s dinner, which most likely will be Costco’s shrimp tempura because we have a big box in the freezer and it’s one of our favorites.

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I mentioned STOUFFER’S SPAGHETTI WITH MEAT SAUCE in the previous paragraph and owe you an official Howdygram food review … and this would be it.

Stouffer’s has been around for a very, very long time, and there’s a good reason for that: Their food is outstanding! Sam and I already love Stouffer’s Stuffed Peppers and Lasagna Italiano, so it really shouldn’t be a shock that their other frozen entrees are equally excellent. I tried Stouffer’s Spaghetti with Meat Sauce for the first time this morning and it was absolutely DELICIOUS. Plus, the single-serving portion was surprisingly generous (i.e., I couldn’t finish it), and all it needed was a little shot of grated parmesan cheese. I can’t wait to keep this little single-serving size entree in the freezer from now on. You just heat it in the microwave for a few minutes and PRESTO WHAMMO! Instant dinner! And if you throw in a cute crusty dinner roll, it could even be as good as a restaurant. (I’m serious.) So for all of these reasons, Stouffer’s Spaghetti with Meat Sauce receives our coveted five-chopper rating!

Stouffer’s Spaghetti with Meat Sauce is a delightful surprise.

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After my regular hospice visitors are through tomorrow morning — my C.N.A. and R.N. come over for bathing, hygiene and wound care for the skin on the back of my thighs — Sam will pick up another Wal-Mart Grocery order. This time around I ordered a package of shrimp and crab cakes (pictured below) from the deli, a jar of cocktail sauce, a jug of ready-made sugar-free iced tea, sugar-free Ocean Spray Cran-Pineapple juice, grilled chicken breast strips, Panda Express Gourmet Chinese Sweet Chili Sauce, aluminum foil, a black step-stool, six-pack of Diet Sunkist in 20 oz. plastic bottles, and Diet Snapple Peach Tea. Woo-hoo!

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I suppose there’s been a lot going on here this week, especially when you consider I’m a housebound old coot with her own hospital bed, a Foley catheter and 24/7 hospice care. On Wednesday, for instance, my podiatrist was here to look at the condition of my feet and check for the onset of pressure sores. He said there were a few areas that concerned him and told me to start wearing foam rubber “heel protectors” on my feet. So … Sam and I mentioned this to my hospice R.N., she ordered a pair for me and they just arrived! MY OWN FOAM RUBBER BOOTIES. I was a little nervous wearing them, to tell you the truth, but they’re so comfortable I don’t even know they’re on my feet. I’m hoping they’ll protect me against skin breakdown and damage from diabetic neuropathy.

Medline’s “egg crate” foam booties protect against nerve damage and skin breakdown.

But wait … there’s more! In addition to expanding my wardrobe with strap-on foam rubber footwear, starting tomorrow I’ll be trying out a new line of ADULT DIAPERS, which arrived this afternoon in the same shipment with my booties. I suppose I don’t need to offer too much information about adult diapers. Figure it out for yourself, okay?

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Thank you for reading this and happy birthday to me again.