Hi there, Howdygramsters. I’m feeling bouncy, bright and relatively pain-free after a full day of juicy extended naps! Unfortunately, it’s 2:35 a.m. Saturday, I’m completely wide awake and slightly clammy even after a pleasant shower about an hour ago. Holy crap,
right?
Allow me to begin with an Einstein Award, okay? This time I’m featuring Christian conservative activist Wayne Allyn Root, — the same asshole who lamented that President Obama must have blackmailed Chief Justice Roberts on last week’s Obamacare decision — for commenting on a conservative radio program that gays shouldn’t be allowed to get married because they’re just going to divorce each other all the time.
“Marriage is the most difficult thing in the world,” Root said. “I’m talking to you as someone who has been married 24 years. Marriage is so difficult that if you do not go to church every Sunday and your whole life isn’t built on a bedrock faith in God and you don’t have kids and your whole life isn’t built around those kids and none of that’s in place and you’re married, the odds of you staying married are close to zero. Divorces will now triple. Gays will never stay married. They just bought themselves the biggest bunch of unhappiness and legal bills that they could ever imagine.”
This jerk not only thinks HIS marriage is miserable but ALL marriage is inherently miserable, and that’s because the religious right has a warped worldview where women are just a bunch of incubators who trade sex and housecleaning for financial security.
Root added that the Supreme Court’s decision on marriage equality was the “best thing that ever happened to the Republican Party” and “hands us the election” in 2016 because candidates will not have to talk about gay marriage all the time.
What a joke. THEY TALK ABOUT NOTHING ELSE!
And now for a quick Putz of the Week because it’s almost 4 a.m. and I need some beauty sleep. Our latest Putz honoree is Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky, who met with asshole welfare rancher Cliven Bundy earlier this week and promised to make Nevada a “soverign state” if he’s elected President. Bundy is still embroiled in an ongoing dispute over grazing rights on federally-owned land, which ignited an armed militia standoff last year with the Bureau of Land Management.
Think about this for a minute. A candidate for President of the United States promises what essentially amounts to a no-questions-asked secession and severing of one state from our 50 United States with zero research on the financial consequences, zero permission from other residents of that state and who promises to grant secession based solely on the request of one criminal rancher who's refused to pay grazing fees for a whopping two decades and whose most profound nugget of wisdom was “Let me tell you what I know about the Negro.”
Cliven Bundy is a thieving imbecile, a liar and a coward who apparently doesn’t realize that Rand Paul is running for President, not dictator, and couldn’t make Nevada a “sovereign state” even if he wanted to. And few things have ever disgusted me more than the repulsive, gutless thugs Bundy called to his side using women and children as human shields against Federal agents. I understand why the Feds wanted to avoid making him a martyr, but I can’t understand why this son of a bitch isn’t in prison already.
Oy, that’s enough for tonight. I’m going to bed now and you can’t stop me.
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