We’ve had only .18 inches of rain for the entire month of July. Oy.

It’s another hot and sweaty day here in Texas. At 10:30 a.m. it’s already 94° with 50% humidity. Unfortunately, a decent chance of thunderstorms originally forecast for tomorrow is now totally kaput ... which means we’ve had only .18 inches of rain for the entire month of July. Oy. That’s way below normal (even for Texas) and REALLY FUCKING NOT SO GOOD.

End of rant. (For now.)

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Today’s big deal comes from the adorable people at the National Mustard Museum in Middleton, Wisconsin, who are promoting their 25th Annual National Mustard Day Festival with a street fair, free food, yellow confetti and a daily barrage of 25 terrific products at 25% off. Click here to shop for today’s 25 terrific products.

Incidentally, I’m exceptionally fond of mustard on almost everything — a proclivity inherited from my mother — and I’ve shopped at Mustard.com (the Museum’s retail store) for YEARS. You need to take a look at their fancy-ass products and buy a few to stock your pantry. Tell ’em the Howdygram sent you.

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In case you thought I couldn’t come up with additional scary stupid quotes from passengers in the 2016 Republican clown car, you’d be dead wrong. As a matter of fact I’ve got several more today just from Donald Trump, the orangutan billionaire. (My comments are in italics.)

“You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media writes as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.” The bigger issue is, does he keep them in BINDERS?!

“Laziness is a trait in the blacks. Black guys counting my money! I hate it. The only kind of people I want counting my money are little short guys that wear yarmulkes every day.” Oy.

“If I were running ‘The View,’ I’d fire Rosie O’Donnell. I mean, I’d look her right in that fat, ugly face of hers, I’d say, ‘Rosie, you’re fired.’” Of course you would, because you’re an asshole.

“A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate.” You pathetic idiot. THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS!

Bottom line? DO NOT VOTE FOR THIS HATEFUL, MISOGYNIST PIECE OF SHIT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. Thank you.