Sunday, April 8, 2018

Tiger’s back, y’all. It was just like the old days.

SUNDAY, 1:15 P.M., 4/8/2018. Sam and I are watching the final round of The Masters on CBS today. Frankly, I haven’t been particularly gripped (weak pun intended) by PGA golf since Tiger Woods stopped competing a few years ago ... but HE’S BACK now! So here we are — Sam curled up on the sofa with Mister Furry, me eating pickled beets in a styrofoam bowl — watching Tiger make some fine drives and juicy putts, just like the old days, even though he’s in 37th place at the start of Round 4.

Tiger Woods squats at The Masters, 2018. Welcome back, little buddy!

So far I’m having a very pleasant Sunday afternoon. Aside from PGA golf on TV, I just got an email that Wal-Mart shipped another part of the online order I placed on Friday. This includes Campbell’s Cream of Onion soup, two jars of Del Monte crinkle-cut picked beets and two jars of Great Value jumbo stuffed green olives. Oh my God … fabulous snacking! The rest of Friday’s order — Pilot disposable fountain pens, several jars of Manischewitz matzo balls, and a squeezy Grey Poupon mustard — have already shipped under separate cover. (Wal-Mart ships everything separately. They drive me nuts sometimes.)

Wal-Mart just shipped part of Friday’s yummy online order. SOUP! BEETS! OLIVES!

SUNDAY, 8:17 P.M. Today Sam suggested a novel way to move me from the family room to the study so I can finally (finally!) sit at my desk again and get back to designing mugs and greeting cards for The Howdygram Store. We’re going to use my WHEELCHAIR! Sam will roll me through the foyer and down the back hall until we reach the door to the study, at which time I’ll stand up and use my cane to walk to my desk … because the wheelchair is too wide to fit through the door without scraping the frame and baseboards.

I love Sam’s idea. It’s an easy solution for my mobility difficulties because I haven’t been able to walk from the family room to the study since I got home on March 25 after a week in Baylor Hospital. To tell you the truth, when I got home I COULDN’T WALK AT ALL … and I haven’t made a shred of progress since then. The point is, I miss my big iMac, I miss unleashing my creativity, I miss collecting free fonts, and I miss my fancy-ass overpriced Adobe software.

So tomorrow we put Sam’s new plan into action. Stay tuned for additional developments ...

My beautiful iMac desktop computer. It’s been waiting for me in the study since March 18.

Many thanks for hanging out with me tonight and don’t forget to floss, okay?

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