Monday, July 25, 2016

My left foot hurts when I walk, talk, pish and breathe. It even hurts when I eat.

This was one of the worst weekends EVER for me, pain-wise. I don’t usually start two back-to-back posts with the same section and graphic, but this time I had no other choice. Mostly I think I’m having a severe neuropathy attack — does something like this even exist? — which has made me FUCKING MISERABLE. It’s my left foot, primarily: 1) two screaming toes; 2) the arch of my foot; and 3) the entire heel, all to the extent that it hurts when I sit, it hurts when I stand, and it hurts when I walk, talk, pish and breathe. And holy shit, it even hurts when I eat!

Incidentally, I’ve had intense foot pain before, but this time around there’s a new complication in town: MY HEEL IS BLEEDING! This morning we discovered a blotch of blood (pink, not bright red) about ¾-inch in diameter on my brand new previously white and spotless Dr. Scholl’s Air-Pillo Memory Foam Insole. When Sam inspected my actual foot he said it looked like a strip of raw skin from stepping on something sharp with a bruise at one end. What the fuck?! The only time I’m ever barefoot is in the shower!

This can be disaster for a diabetic like yours truly. Stay tuned for additional foot updates but please feel free to continue your normal routine in the meantime.

Just like Donald Trump heralds the death-knell of the Republican party, I think Rio will mark the end of the modern Olympics. Why? Because nobody can afford to host or attend this outrageous hoo-hah any more, and I, for one, cannot possibly be the only person on earth who’s sick to death of opening ceremonies with a longer run-time than Lawrence of Arabia

According to a Sydney newspaper that’s covering the Rio Games, which is being described by the press as “a giant sewage-filled dumpster fire,” this week’s scheduled move-in for the Olympic athletes’ village in Rio collapsed when the Australian delegation refused to enter their housing facilities due to serious issues with plumbing and fire safety, thereby declaring their rooms “uninhabitable.” The delegations from Great Britain and New Zealand found themselves in the same spot when they arrived on Saturday.
The Australians reported exposed wiring, water flowing down the walls when they tried to flush toilets and a strong smell of leaking gas, so everybody is currently staying in local hotels while they wait for their host city to fix the problems. Meanwhile, the honorable and hospitable mayor of Rio offered this helpful thought for his Australian visitors:
This is all just the icing on the cake, however, when you also take into consideration Rio’s really scary public health issues, such as the Zika virus, dead bodies (and body parts) washing up on beaches, contaminated drinking water, polluted lakes and rivers filled with drug-resistant bacteria being used for Olympic rowing events, and so on. Several prominent athletes — golfers from the U.S., for example, who didn’t want to drop dead on the third hole — have already pulled out of the Rio Games and refused to attend. (I don’t know what’s spooking the golfers. Are body parts washing up on the golf course?)

In case you like to watch sweaty multinational athletes leaping into sand pits, vaulting on poles, hurling spears and rowing in a river with the bobbing bodies of dead Brazilians, TV coverage in the United States will begin August 5 on NBC ... starring “Blinkie Bob” Costas! I’m sure you remember Blinkie from his Olympics coverage in Sochi, Russia, a couple of years ago, when he contracted “pinkeye” on Day Two and spent the next week sinking into an abyss of squinty, drippy misery until NBC officials (and a couple of doctors) finally told him to get the hell off the air already because he’s making everybody cry.

Anyway, Bob’s back.

Here are my latest digital acquisitions from various “shops” on ... one dozen seamless cork backgrounds, 18 seamless pastel marble backgrounds, a very large collection of string lights “overlay” files you can drop onto your own backgrounds, and 14 colorful mason jars. All of these are high-resolution images.

And now it’s time to haul myself into the shower. I hope I can make it because the pain in my left foot in excruciating. Thank you for giving a crap.

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