Thursday, July 14, 2016

I deserve a Chipotle burrito for dinner tonight.

Know what? I’m a nervous wreck and I’M SICK TO DEATH OF POLITICS. For the last 48 hours I’ve been unsubscribing from email lists and backing away from national news websites. I don’t want to read any more about Donald Trump’s asshole V.P. picks, his feuds, his idiotic conspiracy theories and his stupid fucking rampages on Twitter. No kidding, I’M DONE WITH THIS. And I don’t want any local news in the Howdygram, either, unless it’s some home-grown bullshit here in Texas involving a fight at the Waffle House or a couple of Einsteins trying to drive off with a Wells Fargo ATM machine.

Therefore I’ll begin this post with one of my other favorite topics: THE GORGEOUS NEW DIGITAL BACKGROUNDS that I bought this morning on Etsy.com. I was looking for a few seamless wood background textures (to use for projects for The Howdygram Store), which typically would be sold in a collection of 8 to 12 digital files for about five bucks, and instead found some unexpected BURIED TREASURE. Not only did I score an amazing collection of seamless wood backgrounds — 100 of them! — I also picked up the same designer’s collections of 64 seamless marble backgrounds, 36 seamless leather backgrounds, 64 seamless stone backgrounds, 48 seamless concrete backgrounds and 15 seamless metal backgrounds. And all of these collections were on sale for only 65¢ each. SIXTY-FIVE CENTS! Seriously, people, it was a jaw-dropper. I wound up with 327 seamless high-resolution images for a grand total of $3.90! Holy crap, right? Please check out the following samples:
In case you’re wondering what “seamless” means, please allow me to post the following visual aid. Obviously the final size would be unlimited because you can keep tiling that original file in every direction until the goddamn cows come home. I’m positive that you’ll find this as thrilling as I do. Moo, baby!


I think I’d like to inject an often-requested (not really) Kvetch Report this morning because there’s something weird going on with my body temperature again, this time sporadic fevers that rise and break multiple times every day. I’m sitting at my desk right now feeling really hot ... and I don’t mean hot in the sense of “well-dressed with red lipstick.” I mean literally HOT because my hands are burning up and I’m clammy. Yesterday at this time (it’s 3:45 a.m.) I had a temperature of 98.9°, which is a substantial fever for me because “normal” is around 97°. You have no idea how lousy an old person with multiple chronic health issues — especially diabetic neuropathy and arthritis — can feel with a two-degree fever ... and I hope you never find out! Eventually I conked out on the chaise lounge for six hours and woke up to teeth-rattling chills and an unexpected pishing extravaganza in the foyer.

After an experience like that I deserve a Chipotle burrito for dinner tonight and just dropped a note on Sam’s desk with a list of my favorite ingredients so he can stop on his way home from work. In case you’re interested, I like Chipotle’s chicken burrito with fajita veggies, white rice, black beans, cheese, sour cream, roasted chili-corn salsa (medium-hot) and tomatillo red chili salsa (hot-hot). Oy, this is absolutely outstanding. Thank you, Sam!


I think I’ll take a few more pills and head back to the chaise lounge now for a wintergreen TicTac and some additional sleep. Did you remember the Alamo today? (Thank you for reading this.)

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