Friday, April 1, 2016

Happy first day of April from your favorite fool. (Me.)

I’ll begin with an apology for not writing a Howdygram post yesterday, although I’m NOT beating myself up about this and I don’t especially want to cram this first paragraph with a bunch of excuses. So I’ll just say I was “indisposed” by a variety of health issues and an overwhelming passion to design ritzy iPhone cases for The Howdygram Store on Zazzle. Thank you for your patience and understanding.

And now, this ...

I’ve been experimenting with my prescription painkiller tonight.

I started out a year ago taking 5 mg of Norco every eight hours but within two weeks my doctor increased that to 10 mg every four hours due to excruciating pain and 5 mg just didn’t cut it. After a few months 10 mg didn’t cut it any more, either, so we decided to begin and end my day with 15 mg. This worked nicely until January, at which time I added a pair of miserable leaking pressure sores to my growing list of pain issues and began taking 20 mg as often as possible.

Tonight, however, was a milestone for me, because without asking anybody’s persmission whatsoever — not even Sam! — I expanded to 25 mg for the very first time. I was expecting (and hoping for) a massive flood of glorious pain relief but got ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I was so disappointed I want to kick my pills across the room except my knees hurt like hell and I don’t have enough goddamn mobility to kick anything.

This experiment taught me THREE VERY IMPORTANT THINGS: 1) I’m building up an immunity to Norco, which is a semi-expected outcome according to; 2) I might be an addict; and 3) next time I’ll take three 10s.

Before I forget ... at the beginning of this post I mentioned creating a new line of ritzy iPhone cases for The Howdygram Store so I thought I’d give you a little sample of the work I’ve been doing. Are these adorable, or what? THIS IS SO MUCH FUN I MIGHT HAVE A BRAIN HEMORRHAGE! (Please note that a few of these designs are available in multiple color choices.)
So far all of my designs have been for the iPhone 5 and 5S, but next week I’ll be expanding them for the 6, 6S and 6+ and (eventually) for the Samsung Galaxy if I can finagle the required artwork dimensions from Zazzle. I also want to do a few designs in photorealistic dark wood, metal textures and fruit. (No kidding.)

FYI, if you want a custom-designed case for your mobile phone please send me an email so we can throw around a few ideas, okay?

Donald J. Trump, the billionaire Manhattan orangutan and Republican front-runner, will be facing CRIMINAL CHARGES for bribing ex-candidate Ben Carson to endorse him.
This has definitely been a fucked-up week for Trump. In addition to his campaign manager getting arrested for assaulting Breitbart reporter Michelle Fields, to a series of atrocious, ridiculous and contradictory remarks about abortion and his approval ratings with women sinking below 25%, the American Democracy Legal Fund has filed a criminal complaint with the Department of Justice concerning Donald Trump promising a cabinet position to Dr. Carson in exchange for his endorsement, which is COMPLETELY FUCKING ILLEGAL. Last month in an interview Carson stated that Trump promised him an administration position in return for his endorsement, and when asked directly whether this role was discussed during their endorsement meeting, Carson responded, “Yes.”


And while it’s entirely possible that neither of these blithering idiots knew this was a criminal offense, it doesn’t matter, because so far this is the best chance we’ve got to STOP TRUMP and maybe even throw his sorry ass in jail. The Howdygram hereby implores its readers to do some serious finger-crossing. Gracias.

It’s Friday night, Sam is finally home from work and we’re together here in the study sharing an ice cold can of diet ginger ale. Life is good. And I’ve even got three more LOVELY FREE FONTS for you tonight! I think they’re all terrific and eventually you’ll see them in my new greeting cards designs for The Howdygram Store. Download links appear after the graphic in case you want any or all of them for your own collection.

Thank you for reading this!

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