Thursday, April 21, 2016

Happy 90th birthday Queen Elizabeth!

It’s almost 2 a.m. and I haven’t been to bed yet. Come to think of it, there’s a strong chance I might be up almost all night due to an abundance of extended naps on Wednesday and a strong motivation to write. I can be mighty impressive at the keyboard in the middle of the night, although in my heydey — back in the mid-1970s with an IBM Selectric typewriter — I was clocked at 127 w.p.m. with no errors. Raise your hand if you’re jealous!
Even though I’d love to sit at my desk and write until sun-up, there’s a strong chance that miscellaneous chronic pain issues could send me back to the chaise in the family room ahead of schedule. At the moment I’m experiencing heel pain, toe pain, stiff knees and burning skin on the back of both thighs from diabetic neuropathy and leaking pressure sores. (Other than that, however, I feel fantastic.)

Today is Queen Elizabeth’s 90th birthday, and she’s shown here posing for an official
birthday portrait with three generations of future kings in case she ever dies (and she probably won’t) ... Prince Chuck, Prince George and Prince Wills, ages 67, 2½ and 33, respectively.
I think what impresses me most about the Windsors — aside from being exceptionally clean and wearing fabulous clothes — is the fact that they’re all so goddamn HEALTHY. At 90 years old the Queen still walks all over the palace grounds for exercise, doesn’t need a cane or a walker, stands for long periods of time at official functions, apparently hasn’t lost her mind and looks astonishingly swell for an old chick. She also manages stairs without help and doesn’t even hold onto a handrail (something I haven’t been able to do for almost 10 years, and I’m only 64). Plus at 94 Prince Philip is just as fit as his wife with the exception of an occasional bladder infection. (Big deal. Bladders.)

If you want to send Queen Elizabeth a cheerful note, a picture of your kids or a belated birthday greeting, here’s her home address:

Her Majesty The Queen
Buckingham Palace
London SW1A 1AA, England

It’s 3 a.m. and we’ve got another huge red blob of heavy rain and severe thunderstorms heading our way this morning. This happened yesterday, too, and the day before. At the moment the storms are just approaching Fort Worth (see the following map) but should be here around 5:30. The teeny red star on the right side of the map denotes Howdygram headquarters. Feel free to wave.

Yup, I’ve got more FREE FONTS for you! All of these are classified as chalkboard fonts, which means they’re all hand-drawn, slightly scratchy and perfect if you tint them 15% black on a charcoal gray chalkboard background. (That was a valuable design tip for free.) “Apple Cobbler” and “Safe and Sound” include multiple styles.

Download links appear after the graphic in case you want any or all of these for your own collection. And remember ... fonts are an unforgettable hostess gift for Passover!

A picture’s worth a thousand words, right?

Attention shoppers ... I’ve been expanding my collection of custom smartphone cases for The Howdygram Store on Zazzle. Every design fits a million different iPhones and Samsung Galaxies, and very soon they’ll all have coordinating checkbook covers, passport wallets and padfolios. (This involves a shitload of work. Be patient, okay?)
In case you’re wondering how come I’m promoting The Howdygram Store it’s because Mother’s Day is right around the corner and all of these products would be terrific (and highly affordable) personalized Mother’s Day presents. The Howdygram Store has Mother’s Day cards, too. And right now everything is 25% off if you use the promo code GIFTSFORMOMS.

I absolutely have to shlep myself back into the family room now. It’s almost 4 a.m., the storms are getting closer and I need some sleep. Thank you for reading this. Seriously.

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