Tuesday, December 29, 2015

More great new fonts with swashy stuff, curlicues, ornaments and doodads.

Hoo boy, guys ... great news: I’ve got MORE FANTASTIC NEW FONTS for you today! All of them were free downloads from BeFonts.com (my new favorite website) and some of them even include fancy extras like swashy stuff, curlicues, ornaments, doodads and lots of alternate capital letters. In case you want any or all of these for your own collection I’ll include download links after the graphic. (You’re welcome.)

For the last few days I’ve been waiting not-too-patiently for my new Prowler 3310 mobility scooter to ship, and according to the order progress page on TopMobility.com I think we’re getting close! This isn’t one of those products that can ship the next-day because I ordered a few accessories to customize the basic scooter, such as a wider seat, a cup holder and a handy-dandy cane clamp. And I also requested “white glove delivery,” which means they’ll send a team of uniformed Einsteins to assemble the scooter in our garage so Sam won’t have to do it. (A few of the parts are way too heavy for one person, anyway.)
For your possible interest here’s a comprehensive list of the Prowler’s performance and comfort features. I’m so excited I might have a stroke already!
  • 23-mile maximum driving range on a fully-charged battery.
  • Adjustable speeds up to 7 m.p.h.
  • 12-inch pneumatic drive wheels plus front and rear suspension.
  • Higher ground clearance for navigating outdoor terrain and avoiding land mines.
  • Additional hand brake for emergency stops, such as running into unexpected fried pies at the mall.
  • Anti-tip wheels in case you’re a klutz.
  • Adjustable delta tiller (steering column) lets the driver position the controls at the most comfortable angle and depth. I can picture this becoming my life’s work.
  • Throttle allows for left- or right-hand operation. The foam covered handle is easy to grip even if you’re eating Cheetos.
  • Standard captain’s seat is height adjustable and also can be repositioned forward or backward.
  • Seat features 360° swivel to aid in entering and exiting the scooter or for entertaining your loved ones.
  • Adjustable headrest. Big fucking deal.
  • Removable, flip-up armrests have adjustable height, width and angle for a broad range of adjustments.
  • In the event it’s been determined that you’re a danger to yourself and others, the Prowler’s standard safety package includes a headlight, a horn, back-up beeps, turn signals and dual rear view mirrors.
I’m pleased to include this short promotional video of an ordinary doofus enjoying his Prowler scooter. Please feel free to wave as he goes by.

It’s 8:15 Tuesday night. I’ve got about three hours until Sam gets home from work, just enough time to finish this post, take a fistful of hydrocodone and watch the second half of Pollyanna (1960) on DVD starring Hayley Mills, Jane Wyman and Adolphe Menjou.

Thank you for reading this!

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