Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Does Starbucks really hate Jesus, or are they just anti-reindeer?

It’s Tuesday evening here at Howdygram headquarters and I’ve been avoiding tonight’s GOP clown car debate due to the high risk of nausea if I have to listen to those shitbags again. Instead I’ve decided to write a nice post, answer a couple of emails and finish eating what’s left of a one-pound bag of Sweets & Beets® that Sam bought a few days ago at Costco. As the name implies these are sweet potato and beet chips (seriously), unsalted, colorful, very crunchy and mostly void of flavor. I could live without them but there’s nothing else to eat right now. What the fuck, right?
I spent most of my day involved in two time-consuming activities: 1) experimenting with (and uploading) several new variations of the Howdygram’s banner; and 2) napping. If you’re a regular visitor you’ll recognize the original Howdygram banner at the top of the page because today’s design variations all sucked and I decided to stop driving myself crazy for the time being.

In case you care, my nap, which commenced shortly before Sam left for work at 3 p.m., lasted about two and a half hours.

For your possible interest and amusement I am pleased to include a few portraits of the debating clown car shitbags mentioned above.

Barstool Palin, the bar-brawling Christian abstinence advocate with multiple illegitimate children, wants you to know that Starbucks’ “war on Christmas” cups “are an attempt by the left to make Christians look stupid.” As if Christians needed anybody’s help.

On her blog this week, Palin explained that the evil, liberal lamestream media had inflated the outrage by one Christian pastor who claimed “Starbucks hates Jesus” after the company decided to omit religious snowflakes and holy reindeer from its annual red holiday cups this year. “And the media RAN with it,” Barstool wrote. “They used one small group’s opinion about the cups and began attributing it to the greater Christian community.”
Holy mother of crap. Bristol, sweetie, it wasn’t just the “liberal media” that “ran” with the story ... DONALD TRUMP IMMEDIATELY CALLED FOR A NATIONWIDE STARBUCKS BOYCOTT and has threatened to shut down the successful Starbucks franchise located in Trump Tower! You’re a stupid little jackass just like your mother, and the Howdygram thinks you should go sit in a corner somewhere and gestate in silence. We’re sick to death of you. And nobody needs the media to make Christians look stupid. You keep doing it all by yourselves.

I also have a quickie Putz of the Week to share with you tonight! While headlining a Christian conference featuring several GOP presidential candidates, anti-gay pastor Kevin Swanson announced if his son ever gay-married another man he’d sit in front of his church and spread cow manure all over himself. Trust me, Kevin, it could only be an improvement!
Swanson made his comments during the National Religious Liberties Conference — a two-day political event featuring Republican presidential candidates Mike Huckabee, Ted Cruz and Bobby Jindal. “There are families, we’re talking Christian families, pastors’ families, elders’ families from good, godly churches — their sons are rebelling, hanging out with homosexuals and getting married and the parents are invited,” Swanson said. “What would you do if that was the case? Here is what I would do: sackcloth and ashes at the entrance to the church and I’d sit in cow manure and I’d spread it all over my body,” he continued. “That’s what I would do and I’m not kidding, I’m not laughing.”

This sounds like a dare. Do you think his son has a sense of humor?!

Thank you for reading this!

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