Sunday, August 2, 2015

I ate Costco chicken salad for lunch plus Jell-O.

Sunday was a very large deal at Howdygram headquarters for all of the following reasons.
  • I was under the weather today with a fever. In a word, I felt like TOTAL SHIT. (Okay, fine. Two words.)
  • I ate Costco chicken salad for lunch plus Jell-O.
  • Sam and I watched The Court Jester (1955) starring Danny Kaye featuring midgets, a fabulous Basil Rathbone sword fight and — of course — “The pellet with the poison’s in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true.”
  • Sam finished rehanging pictures following last week’s remodeling hoo-hah. Nothing is cockeyed and I’m very happy.
  • I placed an order with Schwan’s for my new Monday delivery. (Details follow in case you give a crap about this.)
  • Sam assembled my new office chair. It’s beautiful, it’s squishy, AND MY BUTT DOESN’T HURT ANY MORE! (The old chair felt like concrete.)

Kraft has recalled 36,000 cases of individually-wrapped American cheese singles due to part of the plastic wrapper is getting glued to the orange polyester cheese slices and could become a choking hazard if you’re stupid and not paying attention. SO PAY ATTENTION.

The recall includes certain three- and four-pound boxes of American and white American slices. The affected packages have a “best when used by” date between December 29, 2015, and January 4, 2016, followed by the manufacturing code “S54” or “S55.”

The company said it has received 10 complaints and three reports of choking. Anybody with a package included in the recall should return it to the store for an exchange or a refund.

An unnamed FDA spokesnerd commented on Sunday that eating plastic packaging could be less risky than consuming Kraft’s chemical-infused cheese products.

Smart shoppers rejoice! Here’s your chance to save $300 on Pottery Barn’s Ava wood desk, which is basically a TV tray with a cheap slab of glass on top. You get no drawers, no file space, no cord management and and no comfortable work surface — ever tried writing on glass? — all for $199! The desk measures 52" by 28", the wood is finished by hand and you have to assemble this silly piece of shit all by yourself. Yay.
I want to add another Internet Deal of the Day due to not offering one in yesterday’s post, okay? This one is from Schwan’s, America’s frozen food mavens. This week’s AARP senior citizen’s special is save a whole buck on a sack of fetal broccoli with cheese sauce cubes. Everybody else might like the pulled pork, bacon-wrapped turkey pucks or diced white meat chicken gristle. 
Schwan’s is revamping their home delivery program and tomorrow is our first Monday delivery with a new driver doofus. Sam and I don’t care about the new day or the new driver, but we’re NOT THRILLED AT ALL about the new longer “delivery window” from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. I called Schwan’s today to let them know I need delivery before noon while my husband is home because I’m a handicapped old lady who sometimes can’t get to the door. We’ll see if they can accommodate me. (I’m not holding my breath.)

I’d better go to bed. I’m not feeling so good again and sleep would be wonderful right now. Thank you for reading this.

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