My toes run the world.

It was really only a matter of time. I guess it had been eight months or more since I smashed a perfectly innocent toenail into a table or chair and attempted to bleed to death. Last night at 8:15 as I was heading into the master bathroom for a wonderful hot shower, the base of Sam’s huge heavy chair in the study attacked the middle toenail on my right foot and smashed it to smithereens, resulting in an inordinate amount of blood due to I take Coumadin (a blood thinner) and simple injuries become a very big hoo-hah because my blood doesn’t clot. Welcome to THE GREAT TOEPOCALYPSE.

After I bled all over my slipper I limped into the family room and sprawled out on the chaise to wait for Sam to get home from work, and so it shouldn’t be total waste in the meantime I watched the first episode of “Project Runway” season 14.

Sam, of course, saved my life last night. He mopped up my foot, cut and filed all of my toenails, made me dinner plus sugar-free Jell-O cups for dessert, and then we watched Support Your Local Sheriff (1969) starring James Garner and Joan Hackett, which is one of our all-time favorite comedies that immediately made my toe feel well again.

My toes run the world, people. I’m diabetic and also take a blood thinner prescription, so when a toe gets injured life at Howdygram headquarters comes to a grinding halt until we figure out if I need professional medical attention, an ambulance, biscuits with gravy or a toe truck.

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I need a show of hands. How many of you noticed that the Howdygram body copy is now a slightly lighter shade of gray? About half an hour ago I changed it from 85% to 78% and the new web color number is 5c5d60. Thank you.

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Today’s terrific Internet deal is from HSN, where they’re having a storage and organization event featuring fantastic products by Origami, one of my all-time favorite brands. Click here to check out what’s on sale, okay? I’ve got Origami’s intensely popular Folding Kitchen Island Cart with Casters in black. I love it.

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Our big Saturday agenda today at Howdygram headquarters includes Sam picking up two prescriptions for me at Wal-Mart and washing and folding a mountain of really gorgeous new Royal Velvet bath towels that I ordered for our remodeled bathrooms. I bought Sleek Brown and Antique Linen. (Sleek Brown pretty much matches the paint color in both bathrooms.) Are these swell, or what?

Thank you for reading this and have a really nice day, okay?