Nothing hurts today. Holy crap.

Yo, hi-de-ho, shalom and HAPPY BLACK FRIDAY from your buddies at Howdygram headquarters! In case you’re interested and for the record, Sam and I do NOT intend to blow any money whatsoever today on fake bargains, bogus sales and crap we don’t need. We will, however, purchase a six-foot extension cord and maybe order a new table lamp for the family room from Ashley Furniture because the pair of lamps that came Wednesday are, in my view as the official household decorating maven, too small.

The lamp I want instead is pictured below. It has a dark bronze and gold finish, measures 32½" tall, the shade is 19" wide, and like most of Ashley’s lamps you can only buy them in pairs. So ... yes, we’ll have a leftover lamp. Interested? Click here!

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I only have three free fonts for you this morning ... although this really isn’t as cheesy (or measly) as it looks on the surface. “Patronia” and “Deadhead Brush” are part of a bundle that includes a few more fonts you might like (even though I didn’t) and “Hallelujah” comes with several weights, styles and extra swashy whatnots. As always, download links will appear after the graphic. You might want to skip fruitcakes for Christmas and share some free fonts with your friends and relatives!

Patronia & Deadhead Brush • Hallelujah

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Today’s update should actually be called The NON-Kvetch Report because three reasons: 1) my knees don’t hurt; 2) the hypersensitive skin on the back of my thighs — a product of diabetic neuropathy — isn’t pinching or burning; and 3) my leaking pressure sores have healed up thanks to Sam and his magnificent accomplishments in dressing and bandaging. In other words, NOTHING HURTS TODAY ... and I’m even taking less pain medication than usual! Holy crap, right?

This can change at a moment’s notice, of course, so I’m not doing any senior citizen cartwheels (i.e., the kind that involves no physical activity whatsoever). 

Thank you.

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In my Howdygram post on November 15 I had a nervous breakdown that December is Myrna Loy Month on Turner Classic Movies, and they’ll be showing her films every Friday all month long ... 67 of them! I already listed what’s showing on December 2 and 9, and now here are the rest. Sam and I love Myrna Loy! The teeny red stars indicate my favorite picks.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 16

Test Pilot (1938) ★ with Spencer Tracy and Clark Gable
Man-Proof (1938) ★ with Walter Pidgeon and Rosalind Russell
Parnell (1937) with Clark Gable and Edna May Oliver
Wife vs. Secretary (1936) ★ with Clark Gable and Jean Harlow
Petticoat Fever (1936) ★ with Robert Montgomery
Whipsaw (1935) with Spencer Tracy
Stamboul Quest (1934) ★ with George Brent
Men in White (1934) with Clark Gable
Broadway Bill (1934) ★ with Warner Baxter
The Best Years of Our Lives (1946) with Fredric March
Third Finger, Left Hand (1940) ★ with Melvyn Douglas
Lucky Night (1939) ★ with Robert Taylor
Too Hot to Handle (1938) ★ with Clark Gable and Walter Pidgeon

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 23

Evelyn Prentice (1934) ★ with William Powell
Manhattan Melodrama (1934) ★ with William Powell and Clark Gable
The Great Ziegfeld (1936) ★ with William Powell
Libeled Lady (1936) ★ with William Powell, Spencer Tracy and Jean Harlow
Double Wedding (1937) ★ with William Powell
I Love You Again (1940) ★ with William Powell
Love Crazy (1941) ★ with William Powell
The Thin Man (1934) ★ with William Powell
After the Thin Man (1936) ★ with William Powell
Another Thin Man (1939) ★ with William Powell
Shadow of the Thin Man (1941) ★ with William Powell
The Thin Man Goes Home (1945) ★ with William Powell
Song of the Thin Man (1947) ★ with William Powell

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 30

When Ladies Meet (1933) ★ with Robert Montgomery and Ann Harding
The Rains Came (1939) ★ with George Brent and Tyrone Power
So Goes My Love (1946) with Don Ameche
The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer (1947) ★ with Cary Grant and Shirley Temple
Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House (1948) ★ with Cary Grant
Midnight Lace (1960) ★ with Rex Harrison and Doris Day
The Ambassador’s Daughter (1956) with Olivia de Havilland and John Forsythe
Lonelyhearts (1958) with Montgomery Clift

By the way, be sure to watch (and /or record) Midnight Lace on December 30. It’s almost never shown on TV and I’m pretty sure this is a premier for TCM. Midnight Lace is a fantastic suspense story that ranks right up there with Dial M for Murder and The Man Who Knew Too Much. DON’T MISS IT OR I’LL SLAP YOU!

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And now ... I think I’ll spend a few hours working on a few new greeting card designs for The Howdygram Store on Zazzle.com. Also tote bags and some bridal-themed baloney. Zazzle just introduced upgraded software for their product designers (such as yours truly) and it’s amazing.

Thank you for reading this and happy Black Friday!