Sunday, June 4, 2017

Friday’s thunderstorms were epic. I could even hear my soup mugs vibrating in the kitchen.

Hey, everybody … I’VE GIVEN THE HOWDYGRAM A MAKEOVER! I’d been dicking around with a few design improvements all week and finally uploaded my new graphic files — the banner, sidebar titles, navigation links, etc. — on Friday afternoon while I waited for Sam to get home from his trip to Scottsdale. I think I did a mighty swell job with this hoo-hah, even if I say so myself. Please feel free to share your compliments here. (To send cash gifts please request our mailing address.) Thank you.

Regarding Sam and Scottsdale, his flight on Southwest was supposed to land at 3:55 p.m. on Friday but got diverted to Austin due to exceptionally violent weather here in the Dallas metro area. The storms rolled in around 3:30 as I was just getting out of the shower, and they were EPIC. Thunder so loud I could hear my soup mugs vibrating in the kitchen, lightning, pounding rain, straightline winds, hail as big as meatballs, tornado warnings, flying monkeys ... you name it, we had it. At 10 p.m. I could still hear thunder in the distance … AND SAM STILL WASN’T HOME! Southwest’s website said his flight was finally scheduled to land in Dallas at 10:10, and it did, but there was a 90-minute delay waiting for an open arrival gate.

Sam finally pulled into our garage at 11:45 p.m. HOLY SHIT, what a lousy way to end a vacation!

I’m honored to present today’s short list of excellent FREE FONTS. We’ve got a little of everything … charming scripts (my favorite is “Northern Downpour”), snazzy traditional (i.e., “Leyton”) and hand-drawn (i.e., “Fluffy”) display fonts, and even a very nice vintage bundle that includes more fonts than I’ve illustrated here, some of which are really ugly. If you want any or all of these for your personal collection I”ll include download links after the graphic. L’chaim.

Here are my latest beautiful graphic acquisitions for your possible interest. From I bought two collections of high-resolution digital backgrounds in platinum and pearly “glam,” and I snagged the national flag icons and flamingo clipart for free from Design Cuts.

Our latest Putz of Week is — drum roll! — DONALD TRUMP AGAIN. I’m pretty sure Trump is closing in on our coveted “most wins” category, although Rick Perry, the former governor of Texas, might still be ahead of him. But not by much.
The reason for this week’s win was Trump’s decision to pull the United States out of the landmark Paris Climate Agreement. To prove he had widespread support for this idiotic blunder — and teach the Democrats a lesson in patriotism — he called for a “Pittsburgh, Not Paris” rally in Washington, D.C. on Saturday. Organized by the Fairfax County Repulican Committee, three dozen old white men showed up at Lafayette Park with thermoses and posters. Instead of attending his own rally, however, our Putz-in-Chief played a round of golf at Trump National in Sterling, Virginia.
Tens of thousands of Democrats, on the other hand, held a “March for Truth” in more than 100 cities nationwide. We had nicer posters, bigger thermoses and thoroughly diverse crowds.

I’m almost ready for an afternoon nap but I think it’s important first to tell you about a fabulous deal I found last night on In case you haven’t seen all the ads on Facebook, Peeps is a revolutionary carbon-technology eyeglass cleaner gadget. They sell for $14.98 everywhere on the Internet except for, where you can get TWO for $19.98. Plus, if this is your first-time shopping with QVC, they give you an extra five bucks off! So I actually got two Peeps — one for me, one for Sam — for only $14.98. I’m so excited I can hardly stand it, especially because my glasses are always so smudgy with fingerprints it’s like having CATARACTS. Click here to shop for Peeps on QVC.

Ahh, nap time at last. I’ll join Sam in the family room now for a couple of Thin Man movies. I need my William Powell fix. Thank you for reading this and please do your best to remember the Alamo, because I can’t.

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