Have you seen Tiger Woods’ mug shot?

I think it’s safe to assume that Tiger Woods is having a worse week than I am, health-wise, judging from his DUI arrest in Florida a couple of days ago. His mug shot (see below) — and now the dashcam video from his field sobriety test — have gone viral all over the Internet this morning. Poor Tiger wasn’t exactly drunk (his Breathalyzer test result was 0.00) but he was clearly impaired from a toxic brew of prescription meds that included Vicodin (an opioid for pain), muscle relaxants and other unnamed drugs. Tiger is still recovering from his fourth back surgery in April and a slew of other physical problems including weird baldness.

Tiger Woods is only 41 years old, people. If he expects to lead a normal life 20 years from now I think he should stop re-injuring his knees, tendons and back attempting to play competitive tournament golf and relax, retire and enjoy his millions and millions of dollars. Maybe he can design a few more Tiger Woods golf courses or learn to crochet. Enough with that bullshit fantasy about winning another major. Look at his face. Ain’t gonna happen!

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I forgot to mention in my last post that I had a very nice doctor appointment Tuesday morning, and I’ve decided not to switch primary care physicians even though Dr. M is leaving Baylor at the end of June and opening her own private cash-only practice. There are a lot of reasons for me to stick with Dr. M, including: 1) Sam and I love her; 2) she’ll do HOUSE CALLS for a reasonable additional fee, which is huge news for an immobile old coot like yours truly who has so much trouble getting onto that senior citizen transit bus in a bariatric wheelchair; 3) the house calls mentioned in item two can include blood draws and caring for my shitty diabetic toenails at no extra charge; 4) Dr. M has contracted with local independent pharmacies that provide all generic prescriptions for $4 a month; and 5) I can continue to use Medicare and my Medicare Advantage Plan for hospitalization coverage.

It’s only $95 a month for unlimited office visits and after-hours contact via phone, email and Skype … SO I’M GOING TO SIGN UP and I’m pretty sure Sam will, too. Right now he’s still using Cobra for his health coverage and has to make sure he can find hospitalization (catastrophic) coverage from a major insurer.

This is really exciting. Especially those HOUSE CALLS.

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Thank you for reading this. I definitely have to get some sleep now!