I just discovered Instacart grocery service and can’t wait to give it a shot.

Happy Monday morning, boys and girls! It’s 2:25 a.m., Sam is in bed and I think I’m bored. I’m completely fed up with the news — hasn’t anybody impeached that fucker yet?! — and not sleepy enough to go to bed because I conked out in the family room after dinner and woke up about an hour ago. Oy. I’m upside-down again! Right now I’m parked in the study with a fistful of pills, my bedtime insulin injection and a bag of Mountain House’s brand new Homestyle Chicken Noodle Casserole, which I’ll review for you below.

Today I’d like to review Mountain House’s brand new Homestyle Chicken Noodle Casserole for handicapped senior citizens who can’t stand up to cook things. This is actually a very tasty entree, an excellent value for about $5.75 (prices vary all over the Internet), a very substantial portion, and a pleasant switch from instant soup, Hormel Compleats (they’re all starting to taste alike) or emergency Cheetos. The point is, if you’re unable to cook food for yourself any more I highly recommend Mountain House. You just add boiling water, stir, seal the pouch and wait 13 minutes. That’s all you have to do. INSTANT FOOD!

Homestyle Chicken Noodle Casserole contains pleasant noodles, rustic-sliced slabs of chicken, peas, carrots, a slight taste of pimiento and (unfortunately) not enough sauce, which is why I like Mountain House’s Noodles with Chicken variety a little better. However I’ll still award this meal with our four-chopper rating.

For the record, my personal Mountain House favorites are Spaghetti with Meat Sauce, Beef Stroganoff, Noodles with Chicken, Rice with Chicken, Scrambled Eggs with Ham and Peppers, and Italian-Style Pepper Steak with Rice and Tomatoes. You have my permission to try them all.

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I’ve been writing the Howdygram for 10 years but finally decided — less than half an hour ago! — to try Blogger’s built-in caption feature for graphics and photos. Know what? It TOTALLY SUCKS and the results are unappealing, unattractive and complicated. Blogger’s software places the caption too far below the graphic and adds a ridiculous pile of complex HTML to the coding page because the entire hoo-hah is set up as a table. None of this makes any sense whatsoever — 15 lines of code for an eight-word caption?! — so I’ll just stick with my own tried and true format. However I’ve decided to use a different font from now on … BW James Semibold, 14 points. (An example is included in the previous section.)

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Show of hands … do you have Instacart grocery service where you live? I just discovered this and I can’t wait to give it a shot. They do same-day home delivery (sometimes within an hour, and free for the first year) from a variety of your local supermarkets. In our case it’s Whole Foods, Kroger, Tom Thumb, Natural Grocers, CVS Pharmacy and Petco. You can order from every department in the store (including frozen, deli, fresh meat, produce, etc.) and the minimum order is $25. For me this is AMAZING because I haven’t set foot inside a grocery store since 2011 and have no idea what’s on store shelves now. New products, new flavors, new fragrances, new sizes … after perusing what’s available from Kroger I’m completely overwhelmed! I just put together an order that includes frozen latkes, Greek yogurt in three flavors, sugar-free ice cream sandwiches, Smucker’s sugar-free hot fudge, sour cream, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter, and so on. Sam has been doing our grocery shopping for the last several years, so I’ll show him my Instacart list later this morning and ask him what he thinks. Stay tuned!

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I think I’d better get some sleep, finally. Thank you for reading this!