Monday, April 18, 2016

No matter what’s in your pants, you can still be a big prick.

Hi-de-ho and a happy, sunshiney Monday to you and yours! We’ve had almost five inches of rain during the last 36 hours and expect even more starting overnight tonight, but for the moment everything is glorious and balmy and springy here in north Texas. Specifically, 74° with blinding sun. However I have to observe all of the above from my desk in the study due to being a very crotchety senior citizen with a long list of mobility issues who never leaves the house. Thank you.

At this point I’d like to introduce you to another new line of products that will be available extremely soon in The Howdygram Store on Zazzle ... CUSTOM PADFOLIOS! This is a really well-made product that includes a pen holder, a pocket for loose whatnots, two business card slots and an 8½" x 11" pad of lined perforated paper. A little while ago I uploaded the following two padfolio designs to The Howdygram Store; this week I’ll be designing more ... including a whole bunch that will match our mousepads and iPhone cases because women can be neurotic about things like this. Yee-haw! PADFOLIOS!

I completely forgot to share the lab results from my appointment with Dr. M on April 6! The news is actually FUCKING EXCELLENT when you consider how lousy I feel most of the time. I’m especially thrilled about my cholesterol and hemoglobin A1C numbers (an A1C lower than 6.0 is the “holy grail” when you have diabetes).
  • Cholesterol: 121
  • Triglycerides: 115
  • Hemoglobin A1C: 5.6
  • Average Glucose: 106
The lab results also indicate that my kidneys are “stable,” my liver tests, electrolytes and lipids are all “very good,” and my complete blood count is “normal.” HEY, WORLD ... I’M NORMAL!

Incidentally, I don’t take any meds to lower my cholesterol. I guess it’s just naturally perfect because I’m such a fine human being. (Also because I stopped ordering thin crust super supremes from Pizza Hut twice a week.)

Today we have three new TERRIFIC FREE FONTS for you! I love all of these, but especially “Fotograami Hearts” because it includes about 50 unique heart illustrations that I can’t wait to bedazzle with sparkly backgrounds for Valentine’s Day cards. (Yes, I really think about things like this.) As always, download links appear after the graphic. And all of these fonts are Kosher for Passover!

“Old Clueless” is still running for the GOP presidential nomination and still trying to whine his way to the White House. After near-hysteria last week when he didn’t walk away with one single fucking delegate in Colorado — setting off a fury of evil tweets, a full-page op-ed in a local newspaper and a series of threats to party officials — Trump is now promising SCREAMING, DEMONSTRATIONS and VIOLENCE at the July convention in Cleveland. (Except I don’t think Donald understands that his mouth-breathing Trumpsters can’t get inside to wreak havoc because the national convention is “delegates only.”)
If you need any additional proof that “Old Clueless” doesn’t get it, check out this recent tweet.
I think it’s hilarious that the Manhattan orangutan and his shrieking minions still can’t see the obvious here. The fact that Trump was battling 17 opponents for delegates simply means that 75% of Republican “likely voters” WANTED SOMEBODY ELSE FOR PRESIDENT. If they’d wanted YOU, Donald, they would have voted for you! Oh my God, what an idiot.

And while I’m on the subject ... I’d like to introduce you to artist Illma Gore. On February 9 — the same day that Trump won the New Hampshire primary — Gore posted this image to her Facebook page along with the caption: “My latest painting, ‘Make America Great Again.’ Because no matter what’s in your pants, you can still be a big prick.”

Naturally, Gore is receiving endless death threats and Trump’s legal team has already threatened a lawsuit over her fine depiction of the GOP presidential frontrunner and his miniature schmeckle. And when U.S. galleries declined to show Gore’s latest work, “Make America Great Again” turned into an instant viral sensation and attracted bids above $141,770 (£100,000) after it went on display in the Maddox Gallery in London this month. The Brits have no problem whatsoever hanging an embarrassing painting of Donald Trump. (Thank you, Brits!)
You may gouge your eyes out now. Thank you for reading this.

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